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Silenced

My heart is silenced even now
  Though all about me cries the throng;
The piercing raptures of the crow
  Ring like a strange discordant song

Throughout this prism where I live -
  My heart is silenced even now
And not a murmur will it give,
  And not a breath will I allow

To rise from out its caverned brow
  And trace its shadow on my face -
My heart is silenced even now,
  A statue in this lonely place

Where no one comes and no one goes
  Except the winds that sadly blow -
And I the only one that knows
  My heart is silenced even now.











Author notes

once again my muse came at night. . . my first quatern, also a rewriting of a poem I wrote weeks ago that wasn't very good. . .

A contest entry

please tell me honestly what you think. . .

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Comments

1 - 26 of 26

  • cricketjeff gold member
    August 6
    Edit | Reply
    Quaterns seem very well suited to sad or dark poetry and this is no exception.

    A very good read

    Jeff


    • cricketjeff gold member
      August 6
      Edit | Reply
      Hmmm it appears I've read and commented in the past so it won't let me give you more bunnies


      • XLadyElinorX
        August 6
        Edit | Reply
        oh that's okay! thanks for your second comment, sir - glad you like it


  • No Quarter
    July 10

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful, simply amazing. a powerful poem, though it seems so soft.
    "My heart is silenced even now
    Though all about me cries the throng;
    The piercing raptures of the crow
    Ring like a strange discordant song"
    definitely my favorite part.
    thanks for entering and good luck


  • Dark Otter
    May 18

    Edit | Reply

    This is dark for you!

    A pleasure to read for its psychological content, imagery and form.

    You might do better dark than me.

    • oh, thanks. . . yes, I do write dark poetry sometimes - but in a more classic way. . .


  • Tirrell
    May 15
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful and lulling lines that trace the song so sweetly sung. I like this bit of verse.

  • It spoke to me

    I am sure that to you, your poem may mean something different entirely, but I felt as if you werent allowing yourself to feel the pain without coming out and describing the pain but focusing more on your heart with the pain of the emotion being unwritten. I feel like I can relate very closely to this poem, prehaps thats why I love it so much. I love your flow, It really is an amazing write. keep writing

    • thank you very much I'm not really sure what I was intending when I wrote this, because it just - came. . . but I'm very glad it spoke to you Elinor

  • abu nuwas
    May 6
    Edit | Reply
    Nicely put to-gether, perhaps a little stretched for form and rhyme, but good for all tha

  • maggy1126
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.. this poem was awesome.. I loved it.. Great write I can't choose a favorite part.. it was beautiful..!!


  • nilav
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    it seemsthat even the winds that sadly blow have absorbed the loneliness and solitude of a silenced heart....enjoyed it..the smooth flow of words and rhyme highly appreciable..

  • ahhh...the precious rewrite...don't you just love it when you get to do that and it works out better the second than the first? I have done it a few times with great results. I liked this writing of yours. good job. keep up the great work. peace toyou always in ALL ways...kp

    • totally! It feels sooo good, doesn't it? thanks muchly for your comment Elinor

  • Very very nice, smooth reading you composed here. This was beautiful, and my muse always comes at night as well. But nice composition of words you have here...just simply lovely.

  • A fabulous quatern, not once does it feel forced or stumbling. It rushed by as I read, a river of words and images, filled with sadness and beauty. Kudos.

    • thank you thank you! That's what I wanted it to be, "a river of words and images, filled with sadness and beauty." Elinor

  • One of the most excellent pieces I have seen here. Very nicely done.

  • Once again I have fallen in love with poetry. An excellent piece of writing, I loved the first stanza. It just made me feel really exhilarated. Excellent write.

  • Really great feel to this piece, with nice rhyming and rhythm. I can see why it was chosen to be featured in the "In the Spotlight" section on the front page.

  • oldpoets
    May 5

    Edit | Reply
    Very well writen. Your skill with imagery made this over the top. This was easy and plesent to read.

  • Impressively written quatern, your refrain line works so well both to introduce and to end the poem, and is not out of place as a middle line either.
    Thoughtful poetry in wonderful rhyme and meter

    Great stuff

    Jeff

  • Excellent job on this my friend I really liked the line "Where no one comes and no one goes" very beautiful line and goes well with the piece as a whole. hm your first quatern. well an excellent first one, I'm sure many more will come



    -Steve-

  • An excellent quatern. The movement of the refrain line is barely noticeable which is just how it should be yet it gives te whole piece a subtle echo.

    Well penned poet

    ~Jem~

  • Impressive

    Dear girl I am struck with awe...this reminds me of E. B. Browing. The tone is superb, the diction elegant, the form, well worked. Very nicely done! , Dannie

  • Eusebius
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    Superb, absolutely superb! A timeless piece of poetry! It is positively transporting, a poem to take you out of yourself and lift you--this is the soul of poetry, it's the very reason for the existence of poetry! I love it!

1 - 26 of 26