Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Sistahs at Last

I just came by to edify YOU
It is not who you are that I desire to undergo
But it’s your spirit that I set out to entreat
That matters;
You the invisible author
The entangled emotions of challenges and feats

I cannot see your true image
Because you have been hidden
I see you have been crying
Though it really doesn't matter
Your past that is

I just came by to identify YOU
It is not who you appear to be that I desire to undergo
But it’s your spirit that I set out to entreat
That matters;
You the invisible character
The entangled emotions of challenges and feats

I embrace you; I receive you
Sistahs at last we meet

Author notes

At last we meet! Platform at an Ebony Women's Conference to encourage .

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • poetryality silver member
    June 5

    Edit | Reply
    This is good! I mean real good because it seems as if you are speaking directly to me and that felt eerie for just a moment. I have attended many Women's Conferences in my day, and the Author's Notes made the hair on my arms stand up.

    The second line in the first stanza;

    "It not who you are that I desire too undergo"

    It should read; "It [is] not who you are that I desire [to] undergo".

    You were consistent in the 3rd stanza, with the repeated line.

    I like the word "Sistahs" but the poem does not keep with that vernacular and causes the poem to be off-kilter for my eye to mind receptor.

    Thank you for this entry as you aspire to become AllPoetry Poet Laureate. I wish you well.




    Much Love & Respect ♥

    Renee

    • pearlstp
      June 9
      Edit | Reply

      Gratiful for the opportunity and reception

      Thank you for the grammar critique; for the observation of the personal presence my prose tend to carry. It is my intention to express who i am without being hinder of revealing the core of self. This item, like so many other i have written tend to inspired others in similiar fashion. Thank God for the ability to free my spirit to touch lives who have encounter me in spirit along the way. Praise God for this ability. I'm looking to growhere [AP] . Blessings my friend/Sister Renee.


  • haikumonk gold member
    June 1
    Edit | Reply
    Nice write. Best to you always,

    Don
    aka Monk

    • pearlstp
      June 9
      Edit | Reply

      THANKS

      I the amateur of formal writing [grammar] is simply expressing my heart and soul through these scribbles. Thank you 4 coming around Bro. Monk.