Once the music stopped the dance was done;
It didn’t matter that the night was young
Or hours left till rising of the sun.
The first cadets had every net-phone rung,
And notified with pride their kith and kin.
They’d raised their voices high and fully sung
The farewell song, so journey could begin.
They’d packed the limit each of them could take,
And hardly bothered to conceal each grin.
The first cadets’ enthusiasm could not break,
Even at the dangers that were stark;
For Navy’s greatest journey they would make
At daybreak on the ship they’d both embark.
Destination was a distant planet’s home.
Each had a certain job, an airmen’s mark.
Josh took his seat as Navigator’s Lead
Using neuro-links to guide the way
And human logic to connect with speed.
Mechanic’s jack was Jeremiah’s role
Self-adapting parts still needed guide
For rigid programs could exact a toll;
No matter how exalted Navy’s pride
Its craft might function without blip;
Organic intuition must reside.
One month away the ship began its skip
From wormhole to a lightwave route.
Josh fired rockets to engage the ship
While Jeremiah phased the burners out.
The star ship gave a sudden shake
And slipped into a smooth and time-free route.
The two cadets then took a needed break
And slept the sleep of quiet innocence;
They still had hours to destination make.
Outside the ship a sudden Radiance
Lit up Event Horizon in their path:
This shook away their sleep and confidence!
The relativity of space in quantum math
Predicted no such obstacle in space.
Their trip should carve through space a slender lath.
But now their progress halted in the night;
Horizons slowed to infinity’s pace
To pull their ship into a black hole’s blight.
Josh hit the keys to rotate star ship’s place
And used Computer’s programs to assess
The width that this Horizon spanned in space.
While Jeremiah sought the grid’s egress,
Connecting nerves directly to the ship.
Despite dilemmas, forward they must press.
The danger was the ship itself could rip
If bounced against the insides of black holes;
Cadets would not survive that savage trip.
They worked for hours on the ship’s controls,
With sweat and fear at every finger’s slip.
They fought with all the power of their souls!
By use of science skills beyond my grip,
The men connected Time with paths in Space
And slipped Horizon’s Light behind their ship!
This was a test of mettle and of grace,
As fierce as any knights in days of old.
It was not won by brawn or fastest race:
Instead combatants used their brains to mold
Both Time and Space to win the battle bold!
Author notes
The most commonly known example of an Event Horizon is defined around general relativity's description of a Black Hole, a celestial object so dense that no matter or radiation can escape its gravitational field. This is sometimes described as the boundary within which the black hole's escape velocity is greater than the speed of light. An alternate description is that within this horizon, all lightlike paths (paths that light could take), and hence all paths in the forward light cones of particles within the horizon, are warped so as to fall farther into the hole. Once a particle is inside the horizon, moving into the hole is as inevitable as moving forward in time (and can actually be thought of as equivalent to doing so, depending on the spacetime coordinate system used). Wikkepedia
Revised, based on critique from AP poets: thank you!
A contest entry
- Galactic Hitchhiker Contest by bachelorette.
875 points, ended May 8, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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congradulations on the silver
well done, I got lost in your words, sigh
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Points earned.
We have rated this poem, on a combined scale of 1-20, a 9. -
classic
it pretty good, I'm normally not overly fond of classic style but not bad. kudos
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a good poem, ah black holes, i have a couple in my head, they crash against each other every morning, i think people call them my eyes
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Classically Sci Fi Very nice.
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I like the philosophical aspects of your piece here- the 'organic intuition' (I wonder how that relates to 'survival'...) the 'brains instead of brawn' (and the power of beauty, you've added!)which brought to my mind the roll that 'nerves' play... skipping from wormhole to lightwave- nice sci-fi there... and the piece makes one wonder just what coming upon a black hole would look like (probably not anything like the Disney movie...!) -would it be warping the paths of light reaching the viewer from behind it into a strange visual spectacle? The strict form messed up the syntax here and there, but that sort of thing is tolerable (and expected) in a rhyming form piece... it's safe to say our models of black holes are still very primitive... I'm sure we'll be finding much more variety in them in the future...
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fantastic! loved the form - rhythm, rhyme and flow were so comfortable to the tongue. but the subject matter made me the happiest. love sci-fi. recently toyed with the event horizon theme myself - it is a favorite of mine. this story was a pleasure. i like that Jeremiah connected nerves directly to the ship and Josh used neuro-links to navigate - perfect! i am so glad i did a search of the science fiction category and found this piece. this has made my day!!!
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Thank you for trying a new form! I also love that you've given me a story-poem with the elegance of Robert Frost. The piece starts off really strong without, in my opinion, any need for improvement. Around stanza 14, the poem's strength begins to wane. There's nothing specific until the third line from the end ("fair of face") that I can pick out as needing repair, but it doesn't seem as polished as the first part.
Anyway, I love the story and the action and suspense. It's wonderfully paced. Thank you for this amazing entry.
-K
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You tell a wonderful story Lita my friend. This captivated me to the end. Space and time are a fascination to me and this splendid piece has enlightened me further... Excellent...mal
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Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked this -- it really was fun to write, and even to look up some of the terms so I could be "accurate" as to the outcome (LOL - all sci-fi is speculative, but some things have to be correct or it would be totally scorned by true sci-fi fanatics!)
Lita
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Ahhhh - Bravo! Bravo!
Hey, I loved this exciting piece. The imagery took me right into the thick of it! I sensed the urgency of the travelors and even got myself a little worried about how they'd fare. Fortunately for them, their scribe is so much more inventive then even the two of them (hahaha) and wrote them an escape plan! lol...You truly are my favorite storyteller here. You sure do have an enormous amount of talent for this kind of stuff (to me). Now as pitiful as this might sound, I don't have the foggiest idea what "Terza Rima Rhyme Scheme (aba bcb cdc ded ee)-Iambic pentameter" is all about (hahaha) but I DO KNOW what I like and THIS is it. I send you my best wishes and hopes for you in the contest too.
AsIThink...
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I always wait to see how you will feel about my little "adventures in rhyme" -- and I am so happy when you enjoy them. This started out as one thing, and then turned into another for this contest -- I just took a long time to finish!!! Some poems are like that, I guess. Thanks for stopping by, reading such a long piece, and for your kind comments. Lita
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You are very cluey as to outer space, I found the
theme very different most especially,the whole rhyme sceme. The story played well I liked the bit where Jeremiah phazed the burners and sent the ship into fault free route
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Thanks for reading! I enjoyed writing it, actually started for another contest that asked for long poems, but missed the deadline... I figure I will just keep practicing until I get it right! Lita
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forgot the clappers!
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ah, I love poetry and science. such a lovely union. and it reminded me of my favourite sci-fi books
good luck in the contest!
C -
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Thank you so much for your patience in reading! I am afraid it might be too long for most readers. I've always enjoyed sci-fi, and sometimes that has forced me to learn more about "real" science LOL! Lita
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it is the same with me, though I am a total dork about science anyway lol
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