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I understand

Dear god,
I understand
Why you aren't there
As I fold my hands

You're very busy
You must be there
For people who show
Their love and care

But I just sit here
And ask and ask
For you to complete
My every task

But I just ask you-
No I plea
Accept my humble
Apology

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments


  • becca 16
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    I LOVE IT!! i can relate.. yes it has a little much with the ryme.. but it keeps it flowing.. it makes since. good job with this one .. u made a little kid ryme sound REALLY good.. =)


  • Jihi-Kami
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    Okay, um, nice poem. But the line seperations are awkward, and sometimes it seems the rhyme is forced. Otherwise, good poem.

    God Bless,
    -Misty-


  • darkscorpia
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    This poem has some very good qualities including
    1. It's original
    2. It flows well
    3. It uses good vocab
    Great job and good luck on the contest!