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The Sea

Wings glide over furling sails,
The vessel drifts through the gales,
My love, the sea, calls to me.

The breeze caresses my face,
With a passion stronger then an embrace,
My love, the sea, calls to me.

The sun reflects the turquoise tone,
Of waves moving all alone,
My love, the sea, calls to me.

With the scent of the effervescent salt,
My maritime heart exults,
My love, the sea, calls to me.

Author notes


Written March 9th, 2004

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • MagicLady silver member
    June 2, 2004
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    What a beautiful poem. The rhyming of the first and second verses and the repetion of the third verse is wonderful. I really love it. So peaceful. Thank you for commenting on my poem Mirror Mirror, it is one of my better pieces. I really appreciated your kind words. Cheryl


  • NurseHayley
    March 31, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    A gorgeous poem filled with so much imagery I felt I was almost there myself Brilliant descriptions
    Welcome to Ap and good luck in the contest
    Hayley x x


  • rufina caraid gold member
    March 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    The repetitive line I feel is a must - it appears to reinforce the connection between the person and the ocean.
    Very good entry
    Good Luck.
    ~Von~

  • RapturedRainbow
    March 25, 2004
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    I thought this was a very good poem. I liked the repeating line at the end of each stanza, made me feel like I was on a boat.

    RapturedRainbow


  • savage4883
    March 25, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This is a very well written piece. It flows well, and i like the repetition. It adds emphasis and a lulabye-love-story feeling to it. Good job!

  • Karen Michelle
    March 22, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Very Good!

    I like the repetition in this and the rhyming works very well. You describe a ship at sea very well with the waves and the breeze caressing your face. Wonderful use of imagery. Very well written. Excellent work.


  • leannewales
    March 19, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    a very nice entry...well written...nice flow...good luck in the contest...hugs...leanne xx
    Edited on Mar 19, 12:42 because 'i accidently included a comment made to me!!'.


  • Talia
    March 16, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    hm...

    I do like the repition of that last line gives it that bit more impact. This is a beautiful write and I like both just as much, good luck with this piece

    Natalia


  • Ava Noire silver member
    March 15, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely writing. The tone and flow are a bit melodic, as if the ocean was singing this herself.

    Great writing. I enjoyed reading and would like to welcome you to the site. Thanks for entering!


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    March 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Now this ,...this repetition of words is more for a lyric which makes me think of it captioning such a special painting! Lovely, and lingering.

    Thank you for entering this good write, and welcome to this special site! ( a rhyme there....lol)

    Warmly, CookieZeal


  • Lakota
    March 11, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Hmm sounds very tranquil and emotive enjoyed very much.

    Good Luck!

    Lakota x


  • Barbara gold member
    March 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I like the repetition of the third line....it adds so much to this wonderful poem. Excellent rhyming and great flow to the words.

    "The breeze caresses my face,
    With a passion stronger then an embrace," ~big sigh~...beautiful

    Thank you for entering this

1 - 13 of 13