Photos in one hand,
Roses in the other,
Crying softly,
Painfully.
Black dress,
Black shoes,
Red roses,
Blue soul.
The nights events,
Made me cry harder then I have ever cried before.
Photos of you,
Strewn on the floor,
I lay on the ground,
A photo of you,
Clutched close to my heart.
Tears streaming down my face.
Your pillow lay by my side.
Still filled with blood.
Your satin orange fur,
Blood filled.
I wish I could stop crying,
But I cant'.
You meant too much to me.
That night I won't ever forget,
For it was the night,
You got taken from me.
Author notes
Contest Shatter My Soul, Let My Heart Ache by Reaper-117
A contest entry
- Shatter My Soul, Let My Heart Ache by Reaper-117.
1500 points, ended May 27, 106 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me what you think. i am only 12 years old.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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awww, i love it!
very good writing for a 12 year old!
very advanced!!!
-jake-
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sad but good
Wow this is heartbreaking. Most heartbreaking indeed. This must have been such a hard time for you. I'm very sorry. But I enjoyed reading this. You express your feelings well; keep up the good work.
Brian
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This is great,yet very sad.
It's amazing how your so young and you can write so well. -
WONDERFUL! I love it. It reminded of losing my dad. I'm only 1 year older than you and you are a better poet at lose poem. Wonderful poem.
Kathryn.
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My favorite part:
The nights events,
Made me cry harder then I have ever cried before.
Photos of you,
Strewn on the floor
Thanks for the read! Great job on this!
-
First let me thank you for actually following my rules. Too many people just spam PreWrites into these contests looking for recognition.
As to your poem, it was a good write and shows a strong creative mind. I feel like a little too much was left unanswered: that is to say how was "you" taken, was it suicide or murder? The blood stains are there...are they fresh, am "I" dying in this piece?
Personally I would want these questions stronly alluded to if not actually answered, yet your method leaves room for debate and pondering, which isn't always bad. I liked the flow and enjoyed the heart ache, but in truth I feel like this should be soo much more than it is...it feels to me like a great dream that I just can't remember.
Thanks for entering.
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