This is my fall from grace,
Seemingly marked by wicked fate,
Indignity that time can’t erase,
My essence now fully desecrate.
As I lay broken on the floor
Embittered thoughts, I keep,
My affliction is no more,
For the angels surely weep.
In a list
A contest entry
- Diamonds in the Rough by InsanityEmbodied.
650 points, ended May 14, 27 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - silver III by Salty Hibiscus.
400 points, ended June 5, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think - good or bad
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
-
Even the angels weep when a soul is cast to the dark keep, this surely makes me stop and think.
-
lovely verse sweeps me from my feet...... very nice write, this one.
-
raw and sad write. nice rhyme form.
-
Terse and intense and very raw and emotionally real. Congratulations on winning the silver trophy.You surely deserved it and more.
-
awww i love this short poem
so emotional -
I like the rhyme scheme, it seems to push this along adding an undelying urgency. And yet,the reader gets a taste of the redemption that does wait, after any fall from grace. Nicely wirtten. Geo
-
wow, this is stunning, such a discretionary fall from grace! good luck
♥
whisper
-
there's a nice flow to this...the rhyming doesn't come off forced at all here and i love the honesty you portray. congrats on the trophy - well deserved.
-
reminds me of when a reputation is tarnished. great write here. congrats on the silver....
L,
-
I love it! Its very dark and emotional good job. I really like the part when you said, As I lay broken on the floor
Embittered thoughts, I keep,
My affliction is no more,
For the angels surely weep.
Beautifully written.
-
Im not normally one who really apretiates short poems i think they fail to say much but i think youve really managed it here and although short i think it conveys and shows one particualr moment in time really well and i love it x
-
WOW!`
I love what you have managed to do with so few words! amazing..... "Embittered thoughts" - i like that... idk, just do lol . -
this is soo deliciously good, the last line just shapes the whole thing
nice write, hope you do well in the contest
-
Powerful!
Painful yet beautiful honesty. I love the allusion to sympathy of others for the narrator, that she secretly feels she does not deserve for her circumstance was born of her will.
-
I loved the titel and the picture was a nice touch to the intenstiy of the poem. the 6th libe was my favorite. A Lovely solemn write
-
Simply Wonderful
It has a tantalizing dark taste to it and wonderful flow and rhythem and even with all that it's still sweet and short at the same time. Truly a great work here. Good luck in the contest =D
-
-
Thank you very much for your comments.
-
-
you amaze me. fasinate and please with every write . this is no exception
-
-
Thank you Glenn.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 19 of 19
