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For Gothic Butterfly

I just chatted with this young lady
Whom------I don't even know?

There's something about her-
that's hard to trace--yet harder to erase

You can almost see it in her poem's
They carry such a  Lusty taste-Or
maybe it's in her eye's-- Which I'd love to see
Perhaps I have - are you spying me?

Not that I'd mind--- She seemed so-- kind

Me and this machine-
punching in a few short sentences of response
awaiting her reply--- not being able to breathe

-----till received

And me left wondering---
Why

Author notes

Mr.Cain Butler-Song-- Never be mine--Kate Bush

A contest entry

What did you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 46 of 46

  • Little Lesley
    August 28
    Edit | Reply
    I loved it. Great poem. It's great.
    Good luck!
    ♥~Little Lesley~♥


  • brokenhearts1219
    August 8

    Edit | Reply
    Its a good write! I really enjoyed it but it doesnt really fit my contest very well. Thanks for entering though

  • NomDePlume silver member
    July 28
    Edit | Reply

    Probably needs

    a bit of a polish here and there, but it is a great write overall. Contemporary thought and obviously a hit with the ladies ; )

    Write On!


  • Unbreakable3
    July 27
    Edit | Reply
    thanks for the nice entry


  • FluorescentFixation
    July 23

    Edit | Reply
    Ha wow I had to scroll threw a giant list of contest XD

    Anyways.... I liked this. It's pretty unique and I haven't read a poem like it before. I think it could uses a little less dahses ---
    But it was short and to the point which is always nice. Good luck in the contest!


  • SkitzoSkittlez
    July 23
    Edit | Reply
    love it >_<

    <3<3<3


  • Mango Memories
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    You have a great talent for playing with words!

    I liked this...


    Goodluck in the gazzillion, billion, trillion other contests, pumpkin pie


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely take on the prompt. You never mentioned the prompt in your notes as I stipulated in the contest rules.

    I am also tempted to lookup Gothic Butterfly and read what kind of poetry have inspired you.

    Great poem!


  • jessifer1792
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    Am I crazy, or do you mean "not being able to breathe" ? You have breath... ah well. A decent write... Can't say I'm a fan of the style so much... the flow just seemed off. good tribute though.


  • okadadokie
    July 15
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful, simply lovely.

    ~Oka


  • No Quarter
    July 11

    Edit | Reply
    nice job with this poem.
    "Me and this machine-
    punching in a few short sentences of response
    awaiting her reply--- not being able to breath
    -----till received"
    i know this feeling.
    great job, thanks for entering and good luck


  • DancingRed
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    This is brilliant! The theme of love and poetry is great, and your ideas are well executed. Layout is spot on. Varied enough to add interest and mirror the uncertainty in your words.

    I think you meant 'poems' without the apostrophe.

    "Lusty taste-Or" - I like this part, it makes me think of the word 'lustre'. It's great that your poem makes me think and imagine more than you explicitly say.

    Thanks for entering this poem!
    DancingRed.


  • Snowing Kisses gold member
    July 6
    Edit | Reply
    this is completely excellent
    thaks


  • Fallen-Thumper
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    smiling and this is a great poem wit hgreat feeling. i really enjoyed it.
    good luck and thanks for entering


  • dutch2lips gold member
    June 21
    Edit | Reply
    smiling here, yep, same breathless feeling ... thank you for entering

    alas you cannot compete with the cup winners because this is a pre-write and the rules did state that a fresh write must be added by a pre-write


  • Queen of Shadows
    June 18
    Edit | Reply
    this is interesting

  • smilingshadow
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    short yet captivating...there is something in this piece that keeps the reader thinking thanks for entering and good luck


  • stepbystep
    June 10

    Edit | Reply
    punching in a few short sentences of response
    awaiting her reply--- not being able to breath

    great line. (: great job. best of luck and thanks for entering. (:


  • sunoir
    June 8
    Edit | Reply
    like a cyber dream....nice


  • Sarin Rayne
    June 7
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is a very intresting write.Great job and good luck in my contest


  • teddybare gold member
    June 2
    Edit | Reply

    this emotes

    a peace ... thats nice


  • tears.of.silence
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    You've done a great job with this poem. It's a veyr sweet dedication. thank you for sharing. Thank you for entering the contest. Best of luck to you. kahy

  • xVamPirexMusiCx
    May 29

    Edit | Reply
    hey everyone! I'm sorry, buti have to close this contest! I feel really bad! BUT I JUST RAN OUT OF TIME! If you are in this contest message me and i'll give you 5 points for entering! I'M SOO SORRY! Please understand!


  • Diminished Capacity gold member
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    There's something about her-
    that's hard to trace--yet harder to erase


    that is so sweet.


  • AkitoTae
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    I love the way this is written, the flow of it, and so much more, It's a very good write in general! Keep up the good work, Good luck! ^_^


  • Snowing Kisses gold member
    May 25
    Edit | Reply
    this is simply lovely, and packed with warmth


  • ChunkyC
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm.. I'm not quite sure what to think of this. Maybe I missed it. :-\

    Sorry,
    Good luck in the contest.


  • blondone
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    Wow I have never seen one poem in so many contest, as for the write its full of emotions I sure hope she IM's real soon...


  • The Falls Sun
    May 25

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    really my first impression of this poem was poor after reading what you wrote in your author's note BTW my name is spelled "Cain Buckler". But you nailed what I feel, my emotion, what I am going through, so I completely relate, good poem
    good luck


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    May 24

    Edit | Reply
    This was such a sweet poem and I bet that she was really pleased with this. I know that there are some poets on here that I would love to meet as they are, to me, awe inspiring and I wish I could be as good as they are. Nicely wrote, thanks for sharing.


  • Silent Wayfarer
    May 23

    Edit | Reply
    haha! great write So nice to read a happy and carefree poem after such a long list of darkness, lol!!!! Thanks for entering!


  • Beverlynohime
    May 23
    Edit | Reply
    haha I really like this! Super cute!
    Thanks for your entry! ^_^

  • xVamPirexMusiCx
    May 23
    Edit | Reply
    So many contest, not one trophy? I'm surprised, it's amazing


  • BeachBum1
    May 21
    Edit | Reply
    this is such a good write, i loved the images it gave me good luck thank you for entering


  • Isi
    May 19

    Edit | Reply
    It is lovely to see that you have someone who inspire you, and you make her a beautiful tribute. Unfortunately this is not the kind of poetry I am looking for in my contest, and it does not fit my theme. Good luck you you in your other contests.

    Isi


  • BreakingTheSurface
    May 19
    Edit | Reply
    It's always lovely to find someone who inspires you.


  • tarcus
    May 19
    Edit | Reply
    A well written tribute to your muse who must be proud of the attention.


  • Sunday Rain
    May 18
    Edit | Reply

    =^_^=

    • roland halloway
      May 19
      Edit | Reply

      I am attempting----------

      To feature this Poem. Because if it was not for this true Lady & Poet. I would not be writing again.For she inspires me some how! Anyway--Am hopeing to get as manny reads as possible-- In her tribute--- And am thankful for her inspiration.For as her nick name on this site states-She hold's the ancient wisdom of those long ago biulders,who's masonic majesty lives through the ages.(As Do's Her's) While
      her gental wings flutter softly against my cheek & wisper her sweet poetic verse in my ear's-------So -Thank You Bre!


  • Tqop
    May 18

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing job.

    Awesome. I loved reading this. Great job. I loved the delivery and I especially loved the first two lines, and how it started off the poem. Great! Thanks for sharing this with us.

    Love,
    Evemauy


  • Night Terrors
    May 17

    Edit | Reply
    awe thats so cute I really like this one it is more up beat and happy you really did a great job on this really a beautiful poem.


  • sweet innocence
    May 8
    Edit | Reply
    THAT'S CUTE AND LOVELY!!
    THANKS FOR ENTERING MY CONTEST AND GOOD LUCK


  • Reaper-117
    May 8

    Edit | Reply
    This poem seems to be full of longing and hope, with a few touches of love...not exactly the Shatter my Soul expectations, but hey it was fun to read.
    Thanks for entering.


  • Barely Breathing gold member
    May 5

    Edit | Reply
    I actually enjoyed reading through this. You asked some really vadid points. Well done, thank you for making me think.


  • Hannah Sophia
    May 2

    Edit | Reply
    I liked your use of dashes. There were some grammatical errors (ex: the contraction in "which Id love to see" should be "which I'd love to see"). I don't really think this is symbolist poetry, but it's cute and charming. Whoever it is written for will surely love it.


  • Sunday Rain
    April 30
    Edit | Reply

    o.o

    ^_^ I'm impressed, & left blushing, thank you again for writing this, your very talented...

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