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In Too Deep

I want you to love me so bad
I almost think that it's true
I almost thought you loved me
But now I know how you feel
You don't love me, you never will
You love someone else
I can't compete with her
So I just sit back and watch
Watch you break my heart
I know I should get out now
But I'm in too deep
I already jumped in
And I can't get out

Author notes

Option 2, I guess? This is for a contest and not about anyone! Please do not assume it is about anyone!

A contest entry

Have you ever jumped in too deep for someone you loved?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • I can relate to this. I fall for all the guys that would never like me back... But I can't help it. So, you're not alone.

    • Thanks-I know I'm not alone and its ok...you'll find the right guy someday

  • good poem! yyyyyyyooooooouuuuu rrrrrrrrr sssssssoooooo cccccccccooooooolllllllllll!!!!!!!!!!!


  • Fire-Fly
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    For this contest I’m going to be using a marking system, which I hope will be a fair and thorough way to choose my finalists.

    Thanks for your entry and good luck in the contest.

    Title 8/10
    Nice title, one that may entice me to click.

    Poem flow 12/15
    Flows very well, good job.

    Poetic Devices 10/15
    Not a massive amount noticed.

    Depth / Emotions 12/15
    Quite an emotive write with feeling coming through your words.

    Spelling / Grammar / Punctuation 7/10
    First two fine, but no punctuation and all lines capped which is a shame.

    Presentation 8/10
    Nicely presented and I like the centre alignment.

    Contest suitability 10/10

    Personal appeal 12/15
    The sort of poem that I like to read, very nicely done. Good job.

    Total 79/100

    • Thank you so much for this type of review!!! I like when things are straight and to the point, so this was very helpful for me and I'm glad you liked my poem!


  • lizziebee02
    April 30
    Edit | Reply
    VERY moving!! I vote for YOU!!!


  • ZeLinkAngel
    April 30
    Edit | Reply
    no never happen me but I really like your poem


  • emmaline2310
    April 30
    Edit | Reply
    this has never happened to me, but it must feel bad.

1 - 12 of 12