Sun glows through the blinds of her heart,
Cold as the dark side of the moon.
His face saw through her black and white,
Though the grey found her too soon.
Her pale fingers trace his face,
On the old and greyed photograph,
Her heart was pained, her soul was drained,
When her mind replayed his laugh.
Through September, she endured,
Many monthes of autumn goodbye,
December came, along with time,
Just making her cry.
Remembering the gorgous color,
That saw through black and white,
When one thought of his face,
Erased the darkness of the night.
When she saw him she saw color,
When she saw him she saw light,
When she saw him she saw truth penetrating through the night.
His smile had then erased the greys,
And she'll remember so,
That he was the color of her summer,
So many years ago.
Author notes
I really think that this talks about color in a heartwrenching and diffacult way. I always imagine my life with out him in black and white, and he added the color.
A contest entry
- a brush with color by JinSays.
1006 points, ended May 3, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Colour Me Splendid! by Walking Oxymoron.
700 points, ended September 9, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This is REALLY neat. My favorite lines are,
"That he was the color of her summer,
So many years ago."
SO beautiful!
I also love:
"Her pale fingers trace his face,
On the old and greyed photograph"
Such a great image.
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Aww..this was so emotional and filled with sadness. You paint such a clear picture in the readers mind of her melancholy and memories. Your rhythm & ryhme, perfectly timed with such a great flow. Wonderful. Thanx for sharing this.
write on!
~steve~
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thank yuo so much!
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I loved that you made the poem rhyme, not many people attempt to do that these days.
The rhythm you gave the poem was awesome, each stanza flowing relatively smoothly.
My favourite part was the internal rhyme here
Her heart was pained, her soul was drained,
When her mind replayed his laugh.
And I also love that you rhymed Laugh with photograph. Awesome work there!
My favourite stanza though, has to be the final one. Remembered with such love...such passion.
It makes me smile. -
this was utterly romantic and was had vivid descriptions that painted the readers mind with the very colors you spoke of. good job; keep up the good work. i look forward to reading more of your poems.
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Sweet and romantic.I like the way you've described everything using colors.The title reminds me of so many beautiful,positive memories...
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I love the way you used color as a way of describing your life without your beloved. Very skillful. There's a sadness here, and knowing the outcome makes that sadness much more poignant. Thank you so much, I enjoyed your write.
Love,
jin -
what a heartfelt poem, I thought and I adore how you wove this poem into the prompt. Good luck in the contest! ... L,
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i like how it traces a time line almost...absloutally wonderful my love <3333!!!!
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Thanks Kelly! Like said before, I certainly tried to make it like a 'lost love' that was never, ever forgotten, even through so many years. I love it, too, and although it was a free write, I feel connected to it in some way. Thanks for the clappies! love you and good luck in the contest as well!
~leah
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I absolutely adore the last stanza. This entire thing was amazing--but the last stanza is my favorite. : )
It's seriously beautiful. Very lovely. Descriptive. I like the flow. : )
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Thank you so much Brandi. That comment meant so much to me. I'm very, very glad that you like it! I DID try to make it like a 'lost love' ages ago that was never, ever forgotten.
~leah
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