Broken glass, rusty nails, where the wild violets grow -- From the song: “Diamonds and Gold”
It's precisely what I had been coming here for
To find that lost gem among stars
The dewy drawings in green marking a map
Curling upon corners of this uncharted house
It feels somewhat ghostly and unapparent
Still, I lived here where the autumns stayed long
In the moment you listen to the cacophony of hums
The insects, the birds, whistling pines, you learn
I never appreciated the absence of them
The family, we made up a sort of tune
That drowned out the lake under white froth
Frogs propel downstream to their own
Quivering in my boyfriend's sweater
I wonder about this abandoned home
Where the rusted nails flail their arms like saviors
Instead, he thinks I am wondering about him
The smell of cologne still fresh on his sweater
Between him and the stretch of sweet grass I fail
Where the wild violets grow with sweet lilacs
In patches, I think about how sad I feel
Yearning to appreciate the diminished grace
The gaiety since then has been replaced
And climb in from the shore into the deep
But something inside me listens for them sleeping.
Author notes
Broken glass, rusty nails, where the wild violets grow -- From the song: “Diamonds and Gold”
This poem is about a woman coming to the home where she had grown up. The family is gone, but the sadness of what was lost- youth, childhood, is still there sitting within her.
A contest entry
- Words of Tom Waits by jazzcat.
850 points, ended May 2, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest Best Prewrites From April 2009 by amaranthine lover.
1125 points, ended May 29, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Freeverse Galore by OurxBeginning.
2800 points, ended May 24, 95 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please Comment.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Ah! Yes, I see. It conveys its mood very well indeed.
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This is nice buddy!
You can take the note off. Anyone who can read will know what this is, if they don't know they're stupid.
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It touched me
Whether or not the writer speaks of her own experience, or some aggregation of it, I felt there at the old home -and i am a bloke! Perhaps a little room for editing?
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One is able to picture the whole scene here. A wonderful write indeed. Good luck in the contest and many trophys to come.
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A lot of feeling in this. I can imagine what the girl felt. It's funny how some things stay within us. These are my favorite lines:
"It feels somewhat ghostly and unapparent
Still, I lived here where the autumns stayed long"
^
I loved the description of Autumn in this. I also enjoyed that you added more nature beyond that.
Nice write. Thank you for entering and good luck.
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The descriptions in this were awesome. I felt like I was there. Best of luck in your contests.
Jay -
Good luck in the contest you expressed yourself quite well and I love the nature of and in the poem.. Thank you.
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you really get a sense of the writers longing for yesterday. The realization of what all has been lost to the never ending passage of time...memories are a beautiful thing...thank you for sharing. keep up the great work. peace to you always in all ways...
-KP
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Excellent
A very fine write, indeed. You have expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
There is a real honesty to these words that is familiar and almost painful. You carry the tone well and I like the images and the use of scents and sounds that allow the reader to sense everything as well as see it. You do justice to Waits with the tone and the strong imagery. I really enjoyed reading this. Thanks for entering the contest.
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