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No Solutions

 

 

 

 

I walk the path of life alone again,
after goodbye, the road seems longer now,
no solutions to questions that say how
a love like ours can die inside my brain.

Last night, last kiss, it meant nothing to me,
your pleas of love embraced an empty soul,
nothing to give but callous thought control ~
my darkened heart has closed, no vacancy.

I walk the path of life awaiting death,
my destiny, there can be no escape
from fate and where faceless shadows take shape
that lead me to the gasps of final breath.

My spirit seeks not wanton sanctuary,
do not think your love could ever hold me.

 

 

 

 

JF 29 April 2009

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

  • There is a crying despair in the second line especially and in the first stanza generally that belies the stone-hearted cynicism of the second stanza. The hopelessness of the third stanza seems to be answered by a cry for help in the couplet.

    The last line seems a challenge from the first person narrator to the second person to give the lie to the penultimate line. To ask or command someone to not think a thing automatically causes the person to concentrate on that very thing. If the narrator did not want or hope for the sanctuary of another's loving embrace, she would not have mentioned it!


  • Amera gold member
    April 30

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    I wrote a sonnet like this once, I just didn't know it had a name. Humm... a Bowlesian Sonnet, Kool!
    This really is a beautiful flow and I like the different oone it has with the rhyme scheme. You are brilliant!

    Love,
    Amera

    • Thank you

      There are so many sonnet forms - as I am finding out. I am doing a thesis on Sonnetry for my MA - madness I know.

      The Bowlesian is also known as the Canadian Sonnet. Bowlesian is the older name for the form so the one I have to go with.


  • maralisa silver member
    April 29
    Edit | Reply
    aw a very deep write thank you for sharingmaralisa