I miss you

I miss you.

You're here,
though,
and loving me,
still,
but even with all that considered,

I miss you.

I miss you in the moments
when we somehow,
incidentally,
come free of fate's little tangle,
stop bumping each other with every breeze
and float along,
away,
our separate ways

(in those moments, I realize,
that while two balloons are decadently joyful,
the stretch of a smile on the cherry stained face of toddlers
one balloon
is just sad)

I miss you.

I miss you in the moments
when we reach for different condiments at the dinner table,
what searing agony,
that I can't remember your preference for salt over pepper,
for ketchup over mustard.

(in those moments,
I am not so sure that my mind won't make dramas
of our growing differences
and I am not sure
that it is undeserved)

I miss you in the moments
When we are unable to fill the silences
In the cars
In the spaces between
Two car seats

(In those moments,
I squeeze your hand tighter
Turn on a song I feel might be significant to our situation
Thinking,
this way of communicating will have to do
Until I learn how to talk to you again)

You're here,
though,
and loving me,
still,
but even with all that considered,

I miss you.