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Dancing

Put on your pretty heels
your going out dancing
Try to hide your tears
Pretend your healed from his "romancing"
 
Only you know the truth
Your heart is totally breaking
You will pull yourself together
You'll stop your hands from shaking
 
Pretend he hasn't beat you
You must to save your pride
Pretend he didnt take your heart
 Or use you for a free "ride"
 
Put on a perfect smile 
Painted by God himself
 And pluck your favorite box of giggles
off the dusty shelf
 
Tonight you are the perfect actress
 Star of the perfect play
 Save your honesty and hide yourself
Until another day.

A contest entry

........please help me revise

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • pd11
    May 4

    Edit | Reply

    Awsome........

    Great word choice and i love the imagery... you have done a beautiful job with this. i like this part the most:
    And pluck your favorite box of giggles
    off the dusty shelf"

    awsome..... awsome...


    • Minstrel-Morose
      May 4
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. Thank you.
      *Bows*
      Your far too kind!

      • pd11
        May 4
        Edit | Reply
        naah i really meant it. its a serious subject and most ppl cant do it justice with so many words. i really love your poem...


        • Minstrel-Morose
          May 4
          Edit | Reply
          Yes! It is a very serious subject and if some one enjoys it, I've done my job.
          I'm here to please


  • JessicaMarieLewis
    May 4
    Edit | Reply
    wow.... this was amazing. I loved it. I mean i dont know what to say about it except.... wow.

    • Minstrel-Morose
      May 4
      Edit | Reply
      Tee hee hee. I'm glad you enjoyed. I kinda imagined a Tim Burton thing of like a person just grabbing a "box of giggles" and wearing painted smiles to cover horrible pain.


  • HeartBr8ker
    April 29

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! This is so awesome. One of your best poem. In line 4, did you mean "your" and not yout? lol just wanna point that out. But still, awesome. The rhyme was so smooth and the idea is something that so many girls can take to heart.

    corey


  • Jazzlyn
    April 28

    Edit | Reply
    very good
    2nd stanza, 4th line "You'll stop yout hands from shaking" i think you meant "You'll stop your hands from shaking"? not sure but a great write nonethe less

1 - 12 of 12