When My Life Changed

Nestle in from a weary day of work
Sleeping so very well that night
The alarm goes off as usually
MY arm dangles to find the alarm clock
Something very wrong my mind is cloud filled not fully awake
Then I hear the crash of my clock breaking into parts
This is strange, why is it still dark like the black of a sky
but it strange I see no stars though my window
Then I place my hands on my face and see if they are still closed
Maybe, this is a wild dream, like the one a person is falling then wake up in their bed
As I poked my self in the eye there is an overwhelming feeling
What have I done?
Why is this happening to me
The subtle raise of the heart beat
Overwhelming feeling of panic in one pit of their tummy
I take a slow calm breath remedying reading more people died of panic itself
then the injury
I am going to call a friend and ask her to come over
Since I do not want to upset her I tell her nothing

She has a key when I take short trips she takes care of Merlin
As she let herself in wondering what going on here
Merlin always meets her at the door
Walk in Merlin he grabs at her hand
Then she knew deep down something was not right
Why, are you laying here in the dark  it Merlin walk time

My mind is not clear what day is it?
It the fourth, what going on
I slept for three days, I can see,nor move
My hand feels like a nuclear war bomb  has gone off in my brain and body
Maybe that slight head injury caused more trouble then the doctor thought
I felt  her hands help me dress, I was seeing blacks,grays mixed together

She had to help me to the car my body was limp and would not function
Their were so many tests my heart is beating at an unnaturally tune
All they could tell me is my body has inflation in the soft tissues of my brain
Of course more tests would come periods like this can happen

This illness jumps around when ever it pleases itself
Now that I am taking medication for  a chemical in balance in the brain
I still have attaches that I can not leave my bed
So I take shots every 12 weeks for the build up of inflation in my body
My body looks like I took boxing up for a hobby bruises all over it
The most frustrating part is that I will not know when it attacks
One day feeling great and chipper
Then the next every part of my body hurts
Many times I wonder why did he take my husband
Who helped me so much
Now I am left to endure the pain

There more bad days then good days
I hate when It hits my eyes, I am visual learner
I feel like being cage in a world that I can not relate to people
To me my eyesight is how I learn seeing is believing for us
When an verbal person  tries to help I can not see her words
I need to feel touch and see
In fact I would not wish this on my enemy
lesson I learn is we are blind every day of our lives
When I could not see I heard the birds melodies
I touched velvet petal of a flower