I wanted to believe I was worth it. That inside my heart I could find tiny love notes, telling me "You're beautiful" and "Keep holding on". When we held hands, I didn't want it to mean just that we were together, but that you were my safety, that you would watch out for me. I rearranged my life and schedule, just to see those blue eyes. Today though, I'm breathless. I'm numb. I have a sickness that strikes the deepest blood vessel and the smallest vein. After our hearts had been sealed in so many kisses and late night wishes, I was just a number. You struck again, deep rooting my adolescence in so much grief. You played me.
When did I ever become trash that you just threw away? You told me once that I was the love that you had been waiting for. I told you that my skies would fall and stars go dim if that's what it took for us to be together. But even in that, I was worthless. Those sapphire eyes were truthfully glaring at me like a project, counting down the days until this was over with. You were my whole world and now it's forgotten how to rotate on its axis. Truthfully, it has no reason to anymore.
You taught me so much about love, and now, about hate. Even though I don't hate you, it feels like I do. The stress of all this lies across me like a wool blanket. Today, I was going to surprise you for your birthday. I told you I wouldn't forget it. But I'll just celebrate it alone, with pictures of you and pieces of me.
When did the oxygen I breathe become less important than what pumps through your lungs? Because I've been asking myself the same question, ever since you made my heart look like a desperate whore and you threw me away -
"Why?"
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Maria 
