Naivety's destruction

To the girl I know and knew before she dies:



I can't deal with you anymore.


It's time you emerged yourself in reality, blink open your eyes to the truth.

I know it hurts; it's like gazing up straight into the blinding, brilliant rays of the sun. But you can see. I know it may be hard and seem impossible in that first moment but you will see.

You will.

Do it. Do it now and save yourself from the burden you will haul on your back until your flesh becomes one with the Earth
(maybe longer, I don't know. And who am I to assume it will all end then...).

I know you won't but you have to.

Grow.

Up.

You, you think life is but a happy song hummed under your breath as you wrap your arms around prince charming's waist, riding off on his mighty stallion into the sunset (even if it’s merely a dream, nothing you’ve ever experienced. Leave dreamland, it isn’t real…). You think all of your questions and doubts can be answered by flower-petals and wishes made each night at precisely 11:11.



Honey, its time I introduce you to the real world.


---

I know why you kissed him.


I know that you were fascinated by valleys in his face and the galaxies that lived in his eyes. Your soul was soothed by his laugh, the only sweet-bell melody your ears ever craved; it became a duet before he even hit the second measure of his symphony. It was a simple, catchy tune
but you found meanings and depth in the parchment

he never intended; sometimes a word is just a word
and a song is just a song;

overanalyzing was always your downfall.

---

You kissed him because your heart trembled in his caring embrace and heaven
brushed your fingertips in that single moment.

I know reality appeared to melt and mesh with every fantasy your mind ever fashioned,
that it appeared that, finally,

someone seemed to care.


---

Darling, I’m sorry.

You have to give him up before he engulfs your spirit, scuttles your heart, and never returns any feeling with the same passion and embrace.

You don’t want to hear this and you really don’t know
how sorry I am.

He’s not the boy you think he is;




He will never love you.


---

You mean nothing to him.

I know you’re screaming, I know you’re sobbing
And I know this is not at all what you want to hear and you’ll never believe me (you won’t let yourself) but trust me

he doesn’t care.

He’ll kiss you the way you kiss him, but not really;

You will long for his spirit and to share his mind and heart as much as it is truly possible for any two human beings. You will crave his tender affection and his simple words more than you breathe;

But you will gasp long enough for him to slip away.

All he wants are the contours of your body and for you to simply and crudely
please his penis.

He’ll use you and toss you to the curb before you even register the entire experience and part of you will always doubt everything,
all of it and whether it wasn’t just another dream…dreams can turn to nightmares.



This one was very real.

---


Can you look him in the eye for me, really look and see if he flinches,
see if the universes you always swore were in his irises weren’t just tricks of the light?

You owe me that.

Can you please just drop your naivety for a single moment? And tell me whether he’s your everything then?

If you don’t, you’ll lose yourself

and end up with me.


---

This isn’t working for me anymore,
you and me.

It was a weird relationship to begin with seeing as you’re everything I’m now not,
in a way you’re the lack of me, or more so, I’m the lack of you.

Part of you will forever stay with him after he hugs you for the last time and asks you to accept a promise he’ll never keep and part of him
will dwell in your soul and leach on every fiber of your being like a parasite

until you become the carcass that I reluctantly
filled.

I am not you, you are not me and we will never be the interchangeable personas the rest of the world thinks exists. I wish you could so simply

replace me

like they think is possible.

---

For both of us,
damn it, you have to let him go

just like I have to finally release my grasp

on you.