To The Boy Without A Name

I want to write poems that will make you cry
I want to make your heart bleed openly
I want you to steal MY lines
I want you to define your life by MY words
I want to compare your eyes to the sea glass in the bag in my secret drawer, the one no one will ever see
I want to compare your hair to the smoldering tip of the insence I burned to hide the scent you left behind
I want to write similies to compare what we are to the stars, so i can define it for myself and have a clue about what i feel.
I want to write about things that carve my heart out slowly.
Things that kill me to say and to think.
Things that thinking about thinking about makes me tear up.
I want to write an ode to that time on the bus with him.
And a murderous rant about how he left.
I want to tell stories that hurt so bad that my voice shakes and my knees quake and i can't breathe when i'm done.
I want to use the dawn and my shoes to describe what's gone on between me and you.
I want to use nonsensical metaphors as therapy.
I want to write a slam so perfect
That I can't throw it out
That I'll love so much that even when you're gone i'll still willingly break my own heart again and again because I can't forget it and will always always love it.
I want to tell everyone everything hidden behind a clever anecdote about a ginger kitten playing with a black panther pretending to be a white tiger.
I want you to fall in love with my words like I fell in love with your guitar chords.
I
want
to
cut
my sentences
into breathy segments
that mean
I
have something
serious
to tell
I want to modulate my voice as i tell you exactly what i'm going to do to you the next time you and I are alone.
I want to compare your guitar to sex.
I want to describe the curve of your lips and tell the world how good it felt to kiss you when no one was there.
I wish I knew how to change a room.
Their views
Their hearts
Their souls
Their lives
with a limerick or mere rhymes.
I want to know how to bend words and force you to your knees, trembling as the walls break.

But i don't know how to do that
Because I'm only a teenager who isn't in love,
we're only friends afterall.