in a color-splashed world
what's it like to be the only one who sees
in black and white?
what's it like to be the only one who
has never seen the brilliance of a newly bloomed poppy?
everyone runs by
in flashy colored clothes
which you cannot view
the world goes on spinning
while you have no idea
what you're missing
no idea which is red and which is blue
in a noise filled world
what's it like to be the only one who hears
in a monotone?
what's it like to be the only one who
has never heard the beauty of a wave caressing the shore?
everyone runs by
with catchy words running from their lips
which your ear drums they cannot breach
the world goes on spinning
while you have no idea
what you're missing
no idea of which is high and which is low
I sometimes wonder
if I had to choose
which I would rather lose?
taking no sight
or taking no voice?
I know now
what it would be
loss of hearing seems like a better way to be
a better way for me
Author notes
Sorry, if 33 lines is more than "about 30 lines," but I see no way in which I would like to cut this poem down. So it's understood if I get DQed.
A contest entry
- Empty Pockets Contest For New Members by catz.
4500 points, ended May 12, 19 entries
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BEST KID POET OF 2009.. Five ROUNDS.. 5 THEMES!!! Kids from 4-15years ONLY!! by xXGoddessofPainXx.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Brilliant there is a lot of thought put into this. It reminds me of the book "The Giver". Great job = )
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So this piece is really nice, I like the questioning fact. I think I too would choose loss of hearing rather than loss of sight. Because that way I can still see beauty even if I can't hear it. Lovely piec
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another one that sounds like a song. excellent job, very powerful message. thank you very much for entering
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Really like the form of this.
Amazing write. -
This was very well done. I really like it. Says so very much and the content was very vivid. You did a good job on this. Personally I hate those contests that limit lines even though I probably could stay within it I just don't like the idea. Thank you for sharing.
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Wonderful visuals. Interesting topic. I like the title and it sets up the poem very well. A few errors to corresct: your should be you're in the 4th stanza; Is monotone what you mean or that they can't hear at all in the 5th stanza?;again stanza 8, your should be you're. Small points but important.
Well done. Thanks for entering.
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Thanks for finding those grammar mistakes, and yes montone was what I meant, though I am talking about being deaf. I just don't like the way any other word that mean 'deaf' flows in the poem.
-Catelyn
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You've written a very interesting poem that really makes one ponder and appreciate the senses. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.
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Its lovely.
I just knew that this would be amazing after the stanza. I wouldn't cut it either; it wouldn't be fair to the poem. -
I really like your poem- it was very well composed
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What an insightive poem. It makes me stop and think how much these valuable senses are to each of us.
A very good poem and don't worry about the length. It doesn't have to be just that amount but not too many more than that
Thank you for entering the contest
Dee
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