Looking down at the world below
The day is blackened like the wings of a crow
So much hate has filled the Earth
Pure innocence has lost its worth
God speaks words of love and wisdom
Giving comfort from an eternal kingdom
Yet we continue to go our own way
We drown ourselves in the shadows of night and day
Ignoring the clouds, we stare at the ground
Shuffling along as the rain pours down
The sky turns gray, but no one cares
Oh what pain our God must bare
His once perfect creation has gone amiss
Slowly descending into Satan's abyss
The tears roll down his precious cheek
but no one looks up or dares to speak
A contest entry
- The rain is gods tears for us. by blood.stained.tears.
400 points, ended May 11, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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I love it! What a wonderful write! The last stanza just sums it up for me.'Tis so very true! I have nothing really negative to say. There's one little thing that kind of stands out, and that's the word 'kingdom'. It doesn't exactly rhyme with wisdom; therefore, it's a bit forced, but it seems to work in this particular context, so well done!
Safely hidden win the darkness,
~ The Rocker Who Lost All -
What a wonderful poem you have penned here.
I like it, well done.
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This is a wonderful take on the prompt. I guess we get so consumed by the reality around us, we can't believe that there might be something more. You are very talented.
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i like it alot, this is exactly what i was looking for, the wonderful take on the prompt, and the truth was wonderful, i liked the rhyming too, i love rhyme tehehe, and the brutality of the poem too, "His once perfect creation has gone amiss
Slowly descending into Satan's abyss
The tears roll down his precious cheek
but no one looks up or dares to speak"
I loved this part of the poem especally, hope you don't mind but im gonna add you to prefinalist okay? okay, i loved this!
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