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Yellow Retreat

When I take my leave to the garden,
I abandon the haul of my life.
Melting my heart where it hardened,
and enter green peace without strife.

I abandon the haul of my life
to a saffron safe haven to tend,
and enter green peace wtihout strife-
care to the tender buds lend.

To a saffron safe haven to tend
each golden face buoys to my worn hands,
care to the tender buds lend,
the language of damp earth understands.

Each golden face buoys to my worn hands,
melting my heart where it hardened.
The language of damp earth understands
when I take my leave to the garden.



Author notes

Prompt: Rhyming Pantoum-- the color Yellow

In a list

A contest entry

comments and suggestions welcomed.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    June 9

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    I love Pantoum and find that the repetition can be so very effective when done well. I loved the beautiful references to the yellow as your title indicates with the use of golden, and saffron, which give your poem its warmth and light.
    Thank you for sharing this one. I enjoyed it very much. ~Pamela


    • Nickelspring gold member
      June 9

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much. I struggle with Pantoum, and most repeating forms. I appreciate your visit and lovely comment
      K


  • Raining Kisses silver member
    May 15

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    The language of damp earth understands
    simply beautiful
    outstanding imagery
    thanks for letting us share the beauty


  • AngelBellerose gold member
    May 11

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    peace healing and contentment
    comes from the garden within
    nice write well penned
    Hugs Angel♥


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    May 3

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    Thank you for your entry

    Hmm, well this seemed to go toward the color green and only in a couple of lines did we see the yellow. Still the poem was nice. Calming, working in the garden, working with the earth and the flowers, God's creations, His gifts to us, can be very calming and good for the soul.

    Well done on the form. Rhyme scheme and refrain lines were well developed.

    I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.

    God Bless
    Tammy


  • just mercedes gold member
    April 29

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    I love the courtliness of the first/last line, and the aura of peace and rejuvenation of the poem. Also the sensory involvement of 'damp earth', my fingers were plunged into soil by it.


  • Nymphetemine
    April 29

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    Beautiful.. I understand that the garden is a place of reflection and healing..
    Wonderful write..
    Blessings LadyofAvalon....

  • LovingPhoenix
    April 28
    Edit | Reply
    Very lovely! "The language of damp earth understands when I take my leave to the garden." How true!

1 - 15 of 15