Lisa says,
"You better leave that girl alone.!"
And I says,
It's my life,
and you need to get one",
real cool shit like that;
course she wasn't impressed,
just glared at me with those grey eyes,
and pursed her lips,
"dog shit" she says,
and I whimper,
but keep my eye out for that Pretty Girl.
Author notes
Written March 8th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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You find that Pretty Girl?
Okies. I think maybe if I stick to looking around a poems I might be okay. Though you better rate some of my comments so I make more poem money. I think that is how it works.
oh suggestion says: try to talk about emotional response to poem.
I always do that don't I? okies. off I go.
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Had to click quick this went by in the Feature Box so fast. Not poetry. Hmmmm.
I, of course, happen to enjoy it tremendously for the HUGE space it gives the reader to fill in on their own. Something I've grown to appreciate.
Oh well, you know what Dylan said when the booed. "Play Like Rolling Stone, fucking loud"
Pretty Girl. capitalized I just love that. I do.
Lisa -
well, this is "nice" and..."nice" for you maybe, but poetry, not. not even close. sorry, but i really thought you'd have a lot better to offer than this. i'm disappointed if this is all you can offer...
Jo -
Meh, I don't think I really understand it, but the first time I read it I laughed just at how absurd it was, but then I read it two more times and it started having a deeper meaning. I don't think I'll ever get it, since it seems personal, but I'll keep reading at let you know when I figure it out. Thanks for sharing.
ProdigalPoet -
I have no clue what this poem is saying. I read it twice, slowly. Am I the only one???
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Funny <3
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Ahahaha!
How brave you are in the face of a woman...
But oh how foolish too! Not a war you can win.
Yes, this is a good chuckler! Lute has a great sense of humor!
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this one always makes me chuckle out loud .. -
Nawdy Boy Lisa's fiesty hmm ah
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lute's rebellion. stone tried rebelling a few times. sleeping on the couch not as nice as big warm waterbed. but pretty girls seemed worth it...at the time.
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Doggie Poop!!!! Yay!!! Sorry, but doggie poop funny to say and such. I gots no life neither. Not big surprise there. Maybe Lisa not right and you should chase pretty girl, then we live vicariously (dat big word) thru you. See, den everybody happy.
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the title drew me in initially
then found myself chuckling at the dialog
like a little boy getting caught with his hand
in the nookie jar...
oops...i meant cookie jar...
truly, i did!
haven't read your work in awhile...
not sure why, could have sworn i had you in my favourites!?!
getting old sucks.
~liz -
Aahahaha ..
Lute displays a bit o defiance??? -
Ahhhhhhhhhhh...come on Des! He can't help it if he is always looking at me...i mean, really...can you blame the guy????
hahahahahaha
I'm not really sure what to think on this one...i mean, it's funny...don't get me wrong...i giggled. Like the story of most men's lives...lol. Oh well...guess if she's that jealous she could get a leash. lol. This isn't what i am used to from you, i guess, so kind of threw me.
UB
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Holy fucking hell Lisa has a voice. Yay.
I've tried that "stop lookin at that girl" before and a knee to the groin works better. Here, let me show ya.
Desiree -
Very Well-Written
I had to read this over twice, cuz it didn't quite hit me the first time, and I still don't think it's hit me. This piece, even though confusing, and short, it has something to it that makes you interested in what you're trying to say to the reader. This piece is really cool. Simple, and well-written, and it's the sort of poem that doesn't lay it all out for the reader, they somewhat have to read it over again, and figure out for themselves what this piece means to them, and what it meant to you when you wrote it. Great piece!!!! -
I was amused to have read this
It's kinda interesting but ironic, you're keeping an eye out for the pretty freak but at the same time being watched by the austere puritan 
lol. I do not know what to make of the dialogue though, I admit it...lol... but you write very complex pieces. I guess I'd have to be another you to understand!
Well done!
Many blessings,
Raven Aurora
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?
The title was creative...your idea or borrowed. If yours I'd send to David Letterman or Conan or Jay Leno if I were you. The Title...not the poem. They are sort of off the wall and I was thinking when i saw your Title I though...Geeze....now I'm surprised I haven't seen that coined sooner. My advice...treasure your sexuality like fine jewels not cheap like bargain basement clearance sale items. It is sort of like your car...if you don't take care of it it looks like your S word above or shot. Your choice you can drive a jillopy or do proper maintanence and care. SELF MATTERS includes you. -
Lute~
Hey! This was umm... interesting? I guess I didn't really get it... and I don't see where the title comes from... oh well I gues I am just stupid... Keep writing, I might not read though because I might no understnad.
~!~Manda~!~ -
I can only say it's different! Thank you for sharing.
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meh
umm, well i really didn't get it, nor did I enjoy it. but i'm sure it's really great -
daaaaamn you're good... i wonder why i haven't rread you more.
ex oh pseudofemme -
heh, want something you cant have do ya? thats a common problem , but who cares? you never know unless you try, whats the worst that can ever happen?
getting kneed in the groin, lemme tell ya, dont tickle, but otherwise rejection is fairly simple, just try again
fj - -
Lute plays role of young man. Isn't. Spells Grey the English way, and other forms of denial. Doesn't get laid. Worm wriggles off, moderately amused, of an evening.
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Shall I assume snappy comeback lines are your speciality? Such mean spirited adroitness as I have rarely seen.
I'd just listen to her and perhaps pursue a vocation in the clergy or fashion design. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned (yah, my father told me that -- far too late).
Cute. Clever. Strange and wonderful. May I have another helping? -
hm.. it's interesting.
I like it..
to me it seems like theres some deep meaning here, but i'm not quite sure i see it.
or maybe there isnt a deep meaning, and it's just me searching for one. lol
either way, i enjoyed this, good job
Audrey -
very different. . . I liked it, sort of confusing makes you think.
Keep up the good work
cLouDs -
this is really amusing! i like alot! hehe.
Nothing like i have ever seen before and that's great
Keep it up! -
i knew i just had to read this when i saw the title
it looked amusing
and it's very different
never read anything like this
keep it up
i erally enjoyed this
very amusing, yet a little sad
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