Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

The Eyre Around Us.

The red room of panic and distress,

My uncle's ghost won't let me rest.

 

The hypocritical clergy comes,

And tries to make me learn my sums.

Though his lessons are not of intelligence,

Only neglect for remembrance,

That of my poor friend's passing,

He only sits in his chair laughing.

 

I thirst for a better, brighter prosperity,

And finally I can rest in serenity.

 

 

 

 

Copyright 5th April 2009

A contest entry

Any ideas on what I can do to improve it?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • Tezrian
    October 6

    Edit | Reply

    (smiles)

    A dark humorous twist dancing in and out of the mind in such short and simple words. I love it. It was almost like music but insanity's notes driving out the sound of the passing traffic. Simple and yet so much meaning. Your word choice was also exquisite. Well done.

    Your Czarina,
    ~Seraph


  • individuality gold member
    April 27

    Edit | Reply
    a good poem, a dark take to this picture but humour too i see in the lines giving it a smile or three.


  • DramaQueen469 gold member
    April 27
    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to AllPoetry!

    This is a fantastic poem, my friend. Your rhyme is flawless... well done on a great start!!

    I hope that you come to enjoy this site as much as I do, and in the meantime if you have any questions at all please don't hesitate to ask me!!

    Best of luck with your future writing,

    Maria
    Site Greeter