the evergreen sways
over your tomb as I pray
solemnly my thoughts
mold into wind and rain
remembering last winter
©summer51, April 19, 2009
Author notes
Option 1: Bridging Time
By: IZUMI SHIKIBU
Arazaramu
Kono yo no hoka no
Omoide ni
Ima hito tabi no
Au koto mo gana.
MY life is drawing to a close,
I cannot longer stay,
A pleasant memory of thee
I fain would take away;
So visit me, I pray.
In a list
A contest entry
- It Takes Two to Tanka by yukitosumi.
1500 points, ended May 7, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Group Contest Haiku Senryu And Tanka and Lovers of Oriential Art by Draig aine.
2250 points, ended May 21, 41 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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wow
that was good...a nostalgic and strom and emotive remembrance for the beloved.This japanese take was realy so cute and awesome even in english. Iloved it so much dear -
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Thank you, kind sir, for your nice comment.... and the visit. 
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Wow... that is beautiful and mesmermizing. I deeply enjoy erading poetry from poets who have the ability to fit so much wonder into very few lines. The image of the thoughts molding into wind and rain is really powerful. I see the symbolism of the grief in those words. Beautiful!
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Hi, Concrete Angel
Thank you so much for your good feedback.
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Beautiful write. I love the imagery of the first couple of lines, and I can see that others have appreciated as well and noted that with the trophies it has won. There's a certain energy and feel in a cemetery that one does not find elsewhere, and I too tried to portray that in poem (in a poem call "The Eternal Library." )
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Hi, again Top
Thank you for your very inspiring comment.
Glad you like it, too. my friend.
This is one of my favs.
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I can see why. It is a great piece!!
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Thanks, again, Top...
with your good comments..I feel that I'm a true poet....
Just teasing.
I'm truly honored, my friend.
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We all like to make believe we are "true poets." Either that or we are all "true poets" making believe we are otherwise. It's one or the other I imagine. (Okay, now it's just late and I'm rambling on.
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Somehow I missed this gem--
and it garnered shiny trophies, too.
Bravo!
Mumsy
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Hi, Mumsy
Thanks for dropping by.
I was having trouble with my connection ...always logging on and off... Grrrr.
Anyway... good to see u again, my dearest ,Mumsy.
Hope ur doin' well.
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Awe----too bad your new location
desn't five you a better connection!
Doing pretty fine.
Drawing and writing a bit.
Take care!
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oh I like this
beautifully done, congratulations on the greeny, this is a most lovely tanka, heart rending and heart warming thank you for entering this in my contest -
Hi summer
Congrats on the HM. -
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Hi, Lee
Thank you.
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Thank you again for the HM.
summer51 -
kireidesune? Clean and beautiful. very well-done.
arigatou,
yukitosumi
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stunning
wonderfully written, the emotion perfect, a seamless match with your chosen tanka bravo
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Hi, Draig aine
Thank you for your nice feedback..as always...
summer51 -
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tis perfection no?
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Ne!
Arigato gosaimasu, Draig aine, san.
summer51
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Lovely and reflective
A beautiful portrayal of emotion, and a harmonious response to the historical tanka. I especially like your closing couplet: "mold into wind and rain / remembering last winter"
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Thanks, BW
for your nice feedback.
summer51
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Very Good
I love how I can feel the emotion flow from your words!
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Thank you, Nightwolf1978
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Hi summer
Ichiban desu, summer san.
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Arigato, Lee, san.
It's the best or number one, ne?
summer51
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