I love you so much that it slowly kills me inside
Like when water is so hot it feels cold yet it’s burning
And just like the burns that scar me, I still go back for more
Forgetting what I've learned about not touching that which hurts me
You’d think I’d learn the first time, like the slit across my wrist
But it hurts so bad it feels good to me deep under my skin
And your touch is icy like the blade and then you cut so deep and straight
That I cannot help but stare and like the pain
It’s mesmerizing, you are, how you twist and turn my words
Just as you twist and turn my legs into the tourniquet of rape
And I am stuck and pale and cut off from feeling anything at all
And I tried to kill the pain, but it only brought on more.
A contest entry
- I TRIED TO KILL THE PAIN BUT ONLY BROUGHT MORE by Reanna Eryn.
400 points, ended May 1, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥ ..The Only Way I'll Smile is if you Cut me Ear to Ear.. ♥ by BrokenHeartsInVain.
434 points, ended July 14, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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This is easily the best line:
"And your touch is icy like the blade and then you cut so deep and straight
That I cannot help but stare and like the pain"
Well done. -
wow.......... this is amazing... so much emotion not masked by anything, showing what the author is truly thinking and feeling without butchering the word. this is amazing. amazing job.
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thank you very much
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Wow, this is raw emotional and filled with the pain that fills a life that has been touched by the decietful ways of man.
Excellent piece of poetry here as it is all from the heart and what else can one ask for from a writer if not the final cut?
Thank you so much for sharing this poem with us, it is truly worthy of more reads.
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It's good, but it's not exactly that descriptive in the ways I was looking for. It's shorter than I would have liked, but, I think it's well written, and overall, a good poem.
Thank you for entering and good luck. ♥ -
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well thanks for the feedback.
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Wow. I loved it. The thoughts of pain and liking some of it in our lives. Nicely written!
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a good dark twisting poem - ah i think we like the pain in our lives sometimes, we want to feel alive in the moments that itch.
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Very good!
You answered the contest prompt perfectly. You have a real talent for exemplifying particular personality types.
I've met women like that. They're being abused, they're being taken advantage of, they're being hurt, yet they just keep going back to the same guy.
Apparently I don't understand women. The answer to their difficulties seems so obvious: DTMFA But that is the one thing they never seem to even consider doing.
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Awwww, so gald you think I have talent!! Thanks for the comment, and it's harder than it seems.
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o.m.g i loved this poem you really chought wot it feels like to love some one but you cant becouse it hurts as ur heart breaks. i love it
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thanks so much. glad you like it. =)
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I really liked this.
I would capitalize the "f" in "forgetting."
Also, In the second stanza, I would add a "the" between "like" and "burns"
The piece is, however, good as it stands. Thanks for writing it. I can relate to it on a personal level, yet it talks of my past. A past I pray I never relive.
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thanks for catching that. =) Glad you liked it
Kat
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First piece I've read today and I'm speechless.
'and your touch is icy like the blade
and then you cut so deep and straight'.
Nothing prepared me for this experience.
Beautiful poem.
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I hope it's a good kind of speechles. Glad you like it. Thanks for reading.
Kat
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great work
loved reading this...
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Thanks, I'm so glad you liked it.
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