i.
summer 08;
the stars used to fall from the sky and fall so perfectly between
our fingers, but the wind shifted a different angle to surrender
to the unfaithful gestures you tempted me with. but you struck
me with frustration when you'd come and go without a need for
closure. i felt as if i was hanging by a thin thread that could
break at any instant you weren't steadying my heart in your arms.
you weren't afraid to cross the line, but my anxiety lifted into
my throat and i was incapable of tossing you my innocence.
we were merely a nice thought, but a circumstance we could
never overcome. and by then, i was too stubborn to say goodbye.
ii.
fall 08;
i became close with a boy you weren't very fond of. he used
to compliment my accomplishments and focused on our friendship
so endearingly well that i knew me and him could never be more
than this. but it bothered you that he was my shoulder to cry on,
and i was unwilling to come to you.
around october, you counteracted with your charm and lingered
secretly into my life all over again. you claimed to 'miss me'
and stayed longer than usual, completing the emptiness i felt when
you weren't here. but we were like seasons, changing at rapid speeds,
and only lasting a certain while.
iii.
winter 08;
telephone calls and car rides across the town left me thinking i
had it all, but i was only fooling myself with false pretenses and
triggering an emotion i shouldn't have raptured. i didn't want this
to happen, but i continued to walk forward with your hand around
my waist, so i can't completely hold the angelic position in this
contradicting predicament.
'i just want you to know, that you make me smile';
one contagious statement remained swimming through my
bloodstream and contaminating my nerves with the impossible.
but when i surprised you with confrontation, our chemistry was
no longer able to be present during moments we spent contemplating
on how to let this go.
iv.
winter 09;
i used to imagine what would happen if i wasn't second in your
line of imaginary commitment, but i ended up complicating the
mathematics that made up our equation. i wasn't oblivious to the
words you were shoving into my ear canal, you were more in
love with her than ever, and i took it as an offense toward me,
and broke down in a furious disposition.
you told me you didn't care about anything anymore, and you
refused to have a conversation with me about the emotions that
were floating through the air, yearning to be caught. so i gave
up on trying to make us work, and you lost your will to fix what
was unrepairable in the first place.
v.
spring 09;
it's been two months, and i haven't broken the silence we've
created between long-distant breaths. but i would be lying if i
said i didn't think about you at times when i'm staring blankly at the
ceiling or listening to a song whose words related directly toward
you. sometimes i'm hesitant that things could be so much better
than this, but everything changes.
and this time, we were unfit to be the exception.
Author notes
i n n o c e n c e j a d e d . x x
kind of how i used to feel
and how i feel right now.
starting from the summer, to where i am right now.
this is the story of my life.
[20/100]
A contest entry
- in celebration of my one year on AP! :) by etoile.
2250 points, ended April 29, 35 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the static rounds: audition. show me what you've got. by decode.
1070 points, ended June 21, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Letting Go Feels Good. by Poetryintheblood.
700 points, ended May 20, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Writes Only by Aerden.
700 points, ended June 19, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
feedback would be greatly appreciated :D
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Thanks again
Liked it -
Very intimate and bitter
and that's great
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Thank you for your entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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yes.
thanks for auditioning. -
yes.
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yes
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yesyesyes.
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oh yes.
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Wow wow wow wow wow......kind of all I can say!
Same as other people, I just love the way you've split it up into sections and related it to the seasons. Feelings do change like the seasons don't they, and can change so dramatically.
I can emphaise with so many of the feelings in this and it's a weird feeling know that haha.
I love the lines:
"you refused to have a conversation with me about the emotions that
were floating through the air, yearning to be caught."
and
"but i would be lying if i
said i didn't think about you at times when i'm staring blankly at the
ceiling or listening to a song whose words related directly toward
you. sometimes i'm hesitant that things could be so much better
than this, but everything changes."
You're an amazing poet.
Well done
XX
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wow I can really tell you poured your heart out into this poem. it's filled with such captivating emotions and wonderful imagery. I love it.
goodluck and thanks for entering my contest
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Amazing use of the different seasons; I am completely in love with how you broke this up into bits and pieces of passing time and correlated it with your relationship with him. You pull the reader along with every step of the way. I honestly am out of adjectives to describe your word and just as honestly, I loved every single freaking line in this piece.
I do believe this is another one of my favorites by you thus far. You get stronger and more confident with each piece you write, and as your best friend who's been through it all with you the past few months (and years), I can honestly say that you've come a helluva long way and I want you to be aware of it.
Remember when you said it was going to be hard to move on, to take even the tiniest step forward? Well, look at how many steps forward you've actually taken. You're an amazing person and you deserve the absolute BEST, a guy who knows how to love with careful hands and won't constantly be clipping your heartstrings or making you wait around.
I know this is supposed to really be a comment on the poem, but you already knew I freaking love your writing, and I also wanted you to see through someone else's eyes how far you've actually come in the past few months. You should be proud, hoe! I know I am :]
♥always
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This is amazing. I really like how you penned this in a timeline sort of format. Your emotions were so real, so genuine - they came alive.
Great work -
freaking hell; i love this all, everything is written in such poetic nature, it's so undeniablely magnificent.
wahh; i want your writing.
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but we were like seasons, changing at rapid speeds,
and only lasting a certain while.
i love that.
also, in winter '08 i think it should be waist not waste. -
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haha
thank youuu !
i tend to do that a lot
<3 -
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youre welcome :]
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