The sun is low and my spirit is high
Seagulls drift across a crimson sky
I ain’t got much, but tonight I couldn’t ask for more
Evening birds sing their lullabies
As reflections on the water fill my eyes
Something stirs, and I remember what I’m put here for
And all is still, love surrounds me
Life so beautiful within and around me
And all I have to do is breathe
And I’m free…just be
[musical interlude]
Ripples on a pond reaching out their embrace
Lights on the horizon bring a smile to my face
A cloudless canvas and the promise of starry night
The scent of summer seeping through my mind
The peace of my heart I never thought I’d find
Lost in the moment, didn’t know I could feel so right
And as the sun’s slowly sinking
I rest my head and close my eyes without thinking
And then I float into a dream
And I sail...down stream
[musical interlude to outro]
( I rise…beyond the endless crimson skies
Like an angel in disguise
Like the new born phoenix flies
Beyond the endless crimson skies )
Author notes
The tenth song from my 'Alive Again' album, which I'm currently working on. I hope you can make sense of the rhythm for now.
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How was it for you?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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To start with the picture is smiply beautiful! As
for the poem/song it was a pleasure to read! I like
the opening lines...keep writting
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fantastic, well writen
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wow now that is a stunning start to the poem the first two lines welldone you drew me in instantly!!
the scent of summer seeping through my mind is beautiful
really it is!!
I want to hear this song when it is done XX great work and theres really nothing I can actually fault
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Beautiful write portraying Natures beauty and ones surender to it so vividly
Well done
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My apologises for yesterdays comment, I just read it & I sound like an ass. The 'I am right to assume...' should be 'Am i right...'
If it weren't for The Beatles where would music be today?
I was inspired by The Beatles when i wrote songs. Not that it came to anything though. I can't sing & am only just learning guitar. No local bands were interested in my lyrics.
Keep up the brilliance I lack. -
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Hey man, no need to be hard on yourself at all! Until you pointed it out, I didn't even realise you switched the "Am" and the "I" - I read it as you meant it and if I had read it the way it was typed I'd have assumed you surely didn't mean it that way!
Keep at it with the guitar. I'm about to embark on another phase of learning (I tend to get really serious and improve my skills for about a year, and then slowly stop practising) myself, and while it takes quite a long time to get anywhere it's so rewarding when you can just sit and play for yourself.
Inspiration is a fine thing, the problem I have is I keep making my own lyrics to parts of existing songs (sometimes without realising it) and then I'm forever struggling to come up with my own version that works just as well (as the bloody Beatles half the time).
Anyway, take it easy and, again, no need to apologiese - I found your comment interesting and thought provoking.
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Beautiful.
I hope I get to hear it (:
you're so talented.
<3
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I agree with the comments by seven years & gray2020 beard.
I have always had a love of music, I toyed with song writing years ago.
I am right to assume this will be a poem set to music & not a 'full on' song?
I was thinking of music genres, mainly soft beats that your words might work with. By your write you don't have a chorus ("The scent of summer...." or "I rise…beyond...." could work well) I'm curious as to the music & the way you record this. I wish for you great creativity.
Kind regards
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Many thanks to all who have commented. Actually, Tte, I do plan to make this into a full on song although its poetic roots will be quite obvious on the verses. See, I wrote the verses in my head as poetry because that's how they came to me; the "All is still" and "And as the sun" parts were written when I got home and were heavily inspired (euphemism alert) by the chorus like parts of the Beatles song 'For No One' from 'Revolver' ("And in her eyes..."), so it's definitely destined to be a song when it's all final. I'll be sure to drop you a message when I do record this, although there's every chance it won't be remotely soon so...anyway, your detailed comment is wholly appreciated. Have a fine day yourself!
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Nice upbeat write. It's good to see something that doesn't contain a bunch of cutting and poor me for a change.
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Oooh, best not check out my other work then! Alright, to be fair to myself I don't think anything I've ever written fits the image you speak of there but there is the odd "ode to misery" in my collection. That's the thing, if I had my way all I'd write would be uplifting homages to all the things I love in this life. I felt little other than despondency when I set out that day, and I can't tell you how much it pleased me to be able to write about something sweeter.
Downbeat poems about all unsavoury things beginning with 'D' are pretty difficult (damn) these days, because even my own mind's like "Ugh, not this again". Forces creativity I suppose. Excuse me, I seem to be rambling.
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"I ain’t got much, but tonight I couldn’t ask for more" This is a beautiful write.
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