Journal Entries

This should be enlightening to all of us especially me.  To stain new canvass with tainted blood might expose reality.  The only journal entries I've made to date is in a diary I call Quick Books Pro.  Accounting for how my business went while stress continues quietly taking it's toll.  My mind moves at the speed of light resting only when exhausted. Explains why my jet black hair is now so nicely frosted.

I am blessed so many ways there's no real place to start.  Like the burden of intellect  and a conscience which throttIe wild passions that rage within this warm loving heart.  Open twenty four seven to accommodate and provide assistance to those need of food, clothes, or just a friend in which to confide.  Never quite understood the need to stab my back and take pleasure in watching me bleed.  I can only assume they know not what they do.

I,m the luckiest person I know and can't begin to tell you why.  Maybe there's something to be said for doing what's right instead of the minimum it takes to get by.  Honesty seems overrated once I total the cost.  Everything from permanent expulsion, restitution,  one more friend forever lost.  I suppose the thing I really desire is ability to read others minds, then I could understand women and people of all different kinds.

I love my job because it's so rewarding each and every day.  Except my boss is a jerk who thinks he know everything, contradicting every damn word I say.  Of course I've never been known for my compliance, but continue to receive notoriety for my outward display of blatant defiance.  I just refuse to listen to a walking ego whose title was made up and the bought.  If you ask me I think he's eat up the adult AT&T because he can't hold a damn thought.

Finally got us a democrat in office which adds four hours to my normal work day.  Now I don't get depressed because I can't watch CNN and the extra money cover additional taxes I'll pay.  I have decided to quit gambling even though I usually win my money back.  Anyway, day trading sound fun and requires a lot less skill than craps or black jack.

Found me a doctor I like accept when he passes me off to all of his friends.  I put a stop to that crap when I told him in two weeks my insurance coverages ends.  Talk about a quick diagnosis.  Having said that I like him because he was the fifth doctor I saw before I found one who didn't think I drank too much. I've always said two things:

"REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS" and  "It's better to have a bottle in front of me
                                                          than to have a frontal lobotomy"


My family says I'm in denial and I've never been to Egypt in my life.  Anyway, dysfunction is the cornerstone of every strong family.  That and a bottle of single malt scotch.  My family has more steps than the White House and we all get along and on occasion share an ex spouse. Because as mature adults we all agree it's about the kids.  Two more years of child support and I can buy me some mid life skids.  I'm just kidding myself because I could never be that shallow (vrmm,vrmm,vrmm).

I'm struggling with some health issues and most of them surround my work habits.  For instance I may go six days without sleep to meet a deadline and sleep for 48 hours.  Suddenly friends and family are worried I might be Bi-Polar.  I'm hear to tell you my gate only swings one way and towards the ladies and a permanent molar.  Society scares me sometimes when I stop long enough to notice there are other people around.  Anyway, we're done with the Bi-Polar talk.

People who are so jealous of me , calling me a narcissistic prick. I wrote this:

Imagine if life was a struggle every day,
Am I good enough or smart enough?
Worrying about what society might say.

A body image, what's with all that?
something about too thin or too fat.

Good vs. evil and what's right or wrong,
imagine the huge emotional burden,
if life was a bad worn out country song.

I never would have even guessed,
God sparing me and none of the rest.

DAMN I MUST BE BLESSED


I noticed myself thinking about the people who I am surrounded by day to day and once again reflect on incredibly fortunate I am.  People I trust, respect, admire,etc. That might sound trivial, but I assure you when you found your way like did the difference is clear. That soft moment in no way implies any level of compliance to and/or any request said there of.  I'm grateful for many, many people in my life today.

I may have mentioned I started a company a little over five years ago and through a twist of fate it has led to my first book.  Well I haven't actually written it yet, but I'm real close.  Simple book on how to write the perfect business plan and anyone can do it if did. It's really for my son Chris who will be in the work force in a couple of years (God Willing!).  Quick overview:

Find someone who has millions of dollars they will loan you.
Follow your gut or heart (which ever is bigger)
Find a business already generating cash flow (take their customers).   
Bring in more money than you spend or at least try to.
Pay your investor/partner back in record time.
This should be about the five year mark (if your still in business)
Reflect upon the sequence of events during this time period.
Write them down in chronological order and reference cash flow.
Plug in the exact amount of expenses (refer to tax return)
Congratulations for nailing your five plan on the head.
Share the secret with others.



In Progress