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The Play Room

A massive bed sat in the center of the room.
Slightly lifted up off the stone floor.
Pulley’s, chains, and leather cuffs,
hung from the ceiling above the bed.
Promising long hours of pleasure.

Spanking benches were scattered around,
with special little paddles.
They hung on the walls behind them
varying from sizes and colors.
In the mass, there were a few whips and flogs.

Around the top of the walls
built in shelves decorated the room.
Some holding different assertions of lotions,
from the simplest lubrications,
to promised tingling sensations
and edible delights.

Other toys lined up on the shelves.
Different size dildos and vibrators;
Nipple clamps and a few clothespins;
Gags and leather masks,
provided a promise waiting to come.

Hanging off a few sections of the walls,
chains dangled, waiting to restrain
and next to them whips hung.
So many to choose from.
From all leather to barbed wired tips.

In the corner there was a shower.
For the gentle caresses of a lover,
after the slave pleases her master.
Where their essence of pleasure and blood
Is drained away, refreshing them from a night of play.

The mind never forgets what will come,
in the play room of torturous pleasure.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Tattboyspet
    April 29

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    In your second stanza you told us that there were a few whips and flogs and later on in the write you stated that '... whips hung. So many to choose from.'
    That confused me a bit ...

    Also, the overuse of the fullstop was quite offputting for me.

    You did rather well here despite the almost distant feel it had to it, but I am not sure whether you know of this sort of lifestyle ergo I reiterate ... you did a rather good job here - WELL DONE!


  • Jeb
    April 28

    Edit | Reply

    Cool!

    This is a damn good write! It kinda, to me at least, speaks of a place that one would have to think long and hard about before deciding whether to enter or not. At the same time, it's sexy as hell. To me it sort of speaks about the taboo. Anyhow, you did a great job penning this piece! Very intriguing! Well worded! Bravo!


  • Corvus Corone
    April 28

    Edit | Reply
    A lovely descriptive of a dungeon. I feel a little more involvement of personification would have made this a really heated write.

    An impressive entry indeed

    Jem

    Your score has been sent to the challenge host



  • Mistress Rose silver member
    April 28

    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done here and well described, I like your lines and not to mention your play room. I wish you well in this final round.


  • Master Ktulu silver member
    April 27

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutely love the way you brought this dungeon to life....excellent job!

    I do feel that the last part;

    The mornings normal like every other.
    Working regular jobs and paying bills.
    But the mind never forgets what will come,
    in the play room of torturous pleasure.

    although it is a reminder that not all of us live the lifestyle 24/7, it really is not needed to describe this dungeon.It does not hurt nor help the descriptive tone. That is my own opinion, and others may see it differently.

    Overall, it is a play room that I would love to play in. Great entry, very impressive.

    **Master Ktulu**

    • honestly i didnt like the ending either.. i just didnt know HOW to end it lol so i sorta just added it on.

1 - 6 of 6