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One Side Empty ... (bed)



Even though
we fell down
as all sparrows do
lifeless
into the mud

At least we
discovered that the sky
could be ours
to either make
or break
wide-open and all apart

But lovers are reckless
and we didn't care
because together
we're never
too far from heaven



Author notes

ficticious purely ficticious ! ... "implies fabrication and suggests artificiality or contrivance more than deliberate falsification or deception"

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20
  • mimiagatha
    June 1

    Edit | Reply
    make or break is irrelevant, since it is the process BEFORE which is related to divinity. as you certainly seem to know’n’hide


  • truembrace
    May 23

    Edit | Reply
    as for the a/n... even fictitious bears with it the possibilities - or we would not conceive such notions at all, regarding 'romance' that is.

    such a lovely lovely piece...

    Kim

  • quietly burning
    May 19
    Edit | Reply
    hey ROMANTIC poetry is by defintion mushy or overly sentimental ... lol. i do try to brush it down though. I appreciate your words and enjoy your writing.


  • onerios13
    May 18

    Edit | Reply
    because together
    we're never
    too far from heaven

    Now this is what I call ROMANTIC poetry at its best! lol I really felt the softness of this piece, almost Milton in scope, however, I think what is most impressive about this work is that never did it feel mushy or overly sentimental. It was strong and sweet...like fine port before a fire.

    Lovely.


  • natari gold member
    May 12

    Edit | Reply
    You know what they say. Those that deny too much...lol This is a lovely poem and my bed is always half empty and i prefer it that way.


  • Naughtygrlred
    May 6
    Edit | Reply
    awww true love


  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    April 27

    Edit | Reply
    At least we
    discovered that the sky
    could be ours

    quote you on that
    sigh after reading how beautiful this is
    and then that a/n of yours

    it still feels magic to me
    even with your a/n


  • Nicolette gold member
    April 26

    Edit | Reply
    This does indeed have a lifting feel about it... something like "love lifts us up to where we belong". Better to have experienced heaven than not... beautifully expressed, bb.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Manicmuze
    April 26
    Edit | Reply
    I really like the first two stanza's the best... i felt something got lost after-that... almost like maybe this is unfinished or finished too quickly for me i guess. Also, in the last stanza, "to", should be "too" i believe :-) Nicely done, but it feels like you need more "middle" to this poem.
    nice to read you again
    ~ w


  • tara wilson gold member
    April 25

    Edit | Reply
    i like the sky lines, as well as those lines make me think about the bed, too, to make or break wide apart.
    love the 'we were never too far from Heaven' line, it makes one feel lifted...a really beautiful poem.


  • klassy lassy
    April 25

    Edit | Reply
    LOL... Steve, I am watching tonadoes rampages on TV. How ironic to be reading this now. We truly are only a breath away from another destiny.



    Karen

1 - 20 of 20