Left so completely hollow, I ask you to fill me
With the yet unbroken promise, I sustain myself
Knowing, believing, that you, will fill me
On the brink of shattering
I sustain myself
Because
I believe in you
I know that you, not anyone else, but you
Will not let me break
And yet when I wake.
Alone
And broken
This cant be right?
You were suppose to fill me
I'm a mountain when I am full
Nothing can crack me
Impregnable, Solid, Firm
Nothing can break me!
Yet here I am
Shattered
And alone
What happened to her
She must be hurt
Even in this state all I think of
Is her
She would never let me fall?
She promised
And as I am swept up
And placed into the trash
I still think
I hope she is alright?
Written By Beau Bennett 04/17/09
Dedicated to: A.P.
A contest entry
- Send me away with emotion by Fallen-Thumper.
500 points, ended July 10, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Want Criticizim? Take A Look by HereComesTheSun.
700 points, ended July 28, 70 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Betrayal by Maili Knephthan.
700 points, ended October 26, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Promises don't mean anything they are just truths that become lies. Ask me I found out the hard way. You did a good job on this piece thank you for entering and thank you for sharing
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wow, this is heatbreaking and sad, love can be blind isn't it? the feelings of love that never knows it's true value is beautifully unfolded in this piece. Love the imagery and the deepness. great job !!
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p: such strong emotion you did a stunning job with it overall.
fav lines: i ask you to fill me
overall this line just hit hard core to me and my life
thanks for entering -
a wonderful write and alot of emotion. i really liked it. great job
good luck and thanks for entering -
Aw, this is just so sad
I can relate to the feelings in this and you explained them so well with a lot of emotion
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This is a wonderful poem, I really do terribly on love and broken heart poems, I never seem to be able to get the depth of my emotion across. You did it beautifully.
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How beautiful. Deeply sad. As the person before said...touching and mournful. It has a gentle repetition about it that accents the content and the form.
Well done, I encountered one minor spelling error where you left the 'd' off of 'sustained'. Something anyone could accidentally do.
I loved it...
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welcome to allpoetry
this is so touching and mournful,,, it also touches on some emotions I have felt myself, well done with this and thanks for sharing this with us here and for joining the site, keep up the writing,
cheers
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