My time has come and gone
nothing to show but these scars
As brave as I was, I couldn't
beat it, it got the best of me
I want out of this chamber that
holds me captive, they call it
a body, I call it a body bag
So useless, trying to pretend
that I had a soul, one that
could withstand anything
~I was wrong(ed)
There is no reasoning with
this sadistic sickness
There is nothing more to say
~I am done...
Author notes
lyric used for inspiration:
I did my time and I want out
So effusive - Fade - It doesn't cut
The soul is not so vibrant
The reckoning - The sickening
In a list
- Todays Poem group list • next in list
A contest entry
- SlipKnot - Psychosocial by Mariana.
850 points, ended May 18, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
Slipping away bitter to the end
Death embraced but not as a friend
With the suffering that tore you apart
The sickness proceeded to destroy the heart
-
darn! i forgot to say congrats on the silver trophy!!!
-
your witchy sista, giving you a better late than never comment...LOL!!!
wonderfully written, my dear brother! the sadness and pain from giving in to death and giving up on life is all here...feeling like you could've done better, but couldn't and don't want to try anymore...nicely done and such an excellent job!
-
This is powerful and strong!
wow...we bled with you
upon every word.......
and the agony was truly
astounding at the end!
ears/Seattle
way to write!
-
harsh and bitter ...
great take on the lyric inspiration ... congrats on the silver.
-
The desolation bleeds through these words, infecting my heart. This piece was simple yet eloquent in conveying a despair that I know all too well. Bravo & congrats on the silver.
JS
-
A very descriptive write, I love the imagery you put into this, and the emotion was quite real. Congrats on the Silver!
-
Wow, such raw emotion and vivid imagery in so few words. Marvelous job with this piece!
Bravo
♥ kate
-
I like where you took the prompt. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.
Mariana
-
a good piece of poetry penned - i like that imagery of being trapped in a body-bag, it is strong, dark and black, suffocating.
-
awwww another one that makes me sad Jer
I know probably only a fraction of what you go through everyday --- but I also know you have your wonderful wifey to take care of you
and that's part of the battle!
much luv
Tasha
-
Love you always,
Jin
-
Best of luck to you in the contest! Very well expressed piece of poetry!
-
nice
I really liked this. I hope u win the contest! good luck.
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
