even without a name
I knew you.
and now
at rest, uneasy in your unclaimed earth
your moment grows
pushing past clay and consequence,
it reaches for the unendurable noise
of light in transit.
somewhere, later,
I read that - on leaving the sun - it takes
eight minutes for heat to warm
this soil
somewhere later, we will recall
something else familiar beween us
held deep with the water
wrapped around these taken, defiant,
bones
the ones you loaned me in silence,
the same as those I stole
Author notes
Word Count: 83
Edits: 4
In a list
- Beautiful Words by Beautiful People I Know • next in list
- My Favorite AP Poets • next in list
- Gold Shiny Things • next in list
A contest entry
- you are my dark familiar clay by Nicolette.
6000 points, ended May 11, 24 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Though I couldn't completely understand every metaphor or image, I had a familiar feeling and I related to this
One's love to one's self is undefiable, and untainted
the message you portray is honorable and honest
and somewhat inspirational as well
yet I would diligently ask for an explanation to the third stanza and the fourth too
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Definitely well deserved! Brilliant
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Well done Kate - richly deserved!
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Your poem is breathtaking and reminds me that I should spend more time with myself, and my inner feelings. A beautiful work of poetry here!
CONGRATULATIONS ON EARNING THE GOLD!
Much Love ♥
Renee
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Stop you goose - I'll start getting a big head or somink
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That would be "swan", Dahlink. 
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There is another Naruda influenced contest concurrently held with this one - "Closer To Death Than Philosophy (host -CarolDesjarlais)" the title taken from a partial quote by Federico Garcia Lorca, 1934
From reading both Naruda AND your poem here, I can see why this quote is pertinent. You have certainly nailed that transcendental quality that is at the very heart of Pablo and I congratulate you on your Golden Cup.
Paul
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Beyond beautiful....Congrats!!
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Oh my, what a beautiful poem this is! When read out aloud it felt like I was reading and hearing Neruda. And what a stunning opening line – so very Neruda-like.
Reading this poem made me wonder if you are capable of “bad writing”, lol! I so appreciate the care you take with your poetry, Kate – if only more people would edit their poems before entering like you do. Thank you for that!
I do not have much else to say other than this is what I was hoping to see in the contest and I’m totally delighted to find poetry of this caliber in my contest. If I were to be very critical I would perhaps change the line breaks of the first sentence of stanza two to:
“and now at rest,
uneasy in your unclaimed earth
your moment grows”
But that is such a small thing and does not take anything away from the poetic quality and impact of this poem. Truly excellent poetry- a contender for sure. Thank you so much for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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perfect!
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Oh I like this - when I began reading I thought this would be a good poem for Nicolette's contest and low and behold it is entered! Best of luck Kate
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I knew when I read the title this would be special
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"Please tell me what you think"
I keep tellin' ya, Kate. PUBLISH. PUBLISH. PUBBBBBBBBLISH. Damn, you had to go & enter this contest, didn't ya??? Sighhh...Ohhh, well. I'd rather lose a trophy to you than to almost anyone else. 
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K
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gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous write. I have nothing critique-y to say, I just think it's fabulous.
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One of your finest Kate, now... leave it alone, it's perfect.
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