An assailed spectre seeks asylum
From abominations borne of the mind,
But peace and rest - and loving warm flesh -
This demented spectre won't find!
Hark! He wails his anguish at the night!
Hark! She laughs back at his plight!
Lo! A man of light...
Watch! He ends the spectre's fight!
But the mind still bears...
Free of fears and tears, it tears
A hole in the sky
So that the dead won't die,
And the world is awash with its cares!
Author notes
This is a sort of abstract idea of a storm and the events that took place in it. It is a horror style depiction of lightning. Do you see it?
- the power of darkness group list • next in list
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A contest entry
- Thunder & Lightning by RedAquarius.
1000 points, ended April 30, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Writes Galore by tears.of.silence.
400 points, ended May 18, 257 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think? Any advice?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Amazing.
really like the form of this. the rhyming. -
Who is this man of light? Great poem btw.
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Excellent
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I rather like the style and tone, an archaic feel. I have a slight quibble with the use of specter three times in a short piece such as this. I feel the first two stanzas are quite strong in the impact and feeling but the last stanza weakens just a tad for me. I think it's the last line, it feels odd for some reason. I wish I knew better how to say it so I could offer a suggestion. Overall, an interesting take on the prompt!
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You use assonance and alliteration quite well in this interesting piece. Stormy emotion spilled through word clouds. Nicely done. Thank you for sharing with The Blue Lamp. ~Pamela
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I can see and hear the storm in your write. It is full of great imagery, the spectre battling with the light.
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