I'm not sure it's a womans charm
or what was born to man
It doesn't take much to turn me on
just say yes I can
Of course that smile doesn't hurt
or that sweetness beneath you skirt
But I get excited when your not here
just the thought of you so near
Yes I think that I am right
I don't need you to dream at night
But hugging pillows just wont do
I guess I really do need you
A contest entry
- Feminine Charms by bonjourbunnie.
700 points, ended May 8, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I know what's its like to hug a pillow too
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To not have that person next to you brings sorrow. this was deep and shows that no matter how much you try to forget you cant, its good to have someone near...that feels the love like you do.
Great job and best wishes to you in the contest
Love
Passions
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Just passin time with this one.You know ,poker,basketball,poetry,you,not in that order
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It's an interesting poem, but it feels slightly rushed. The ideas clash, that of a softness and that of a sexual need. Were you trying to encompass love and lust? If so, don't be afraid to add onto the piece to further explore these areas.
I like the rhyme scheme, probably because I don't really see it very often. I really admire people who can keep it throughout a poem because I have a terrible time with it, lol.
Thank you for entering this piece, and good luck.
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