Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Shreds

 

 

 

through swollen lids
the scene looked as before,
the remnants of hate
strewn around


my love - splattered
like a seeping stain

of ruby wine

thrown from

a shattered glass

 

 

 

words, even now
stuck in my throat
like last nights bread -
dry and stale


surrounded by an unfinished meal
the burnt ashes of you
lay in the ashtray


and shards of glass
cut the future to shreds

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt ... 'Ashtray'

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • hawkeslake gold member
    April 25

    Edit | Reply
    This one actually "hurt" to read, the images are so real and raw! Your free verse is knocking my socks off -- keep this up and I won't have any left! Lita


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      April 26
      Edit | Reply
      Just let me know when you run out of socks and I'll send you some new ones
      I'm glad you can associate with my poem, but sorry that it caused you pain.

      Sue x


  • princessleejwctlvr2
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is very sad and deep. I can feel the pain and emotion in this write!!!!!! Your words are so powerful and descriptive you give a graphic picture of this piece!!!! Well done my friend!!!!!!


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      April 26
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Jewel, it's nice to see you around again and i appreciate you reading me.

      Sue


  • Legend silver member
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    There is far more read into these words of yours.
    could well be any weekend night in some households.(Sadly) Excellently worded to give a powerful read Good luck in the contest


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      April 26
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your words, I appreciate you reading my work, and I think many nights have been spent like this.

      Sue x

  • Bad Bill
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    Hard, muscular contemporary poetry, with lines that cut to the heart of the matter. This is poetry that actually says something about being human and vulnerable - excellent work.

    Bill


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      April 26
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Bill, I appreciate your words and I guess we are all a little vulnerable.

      Sue x ;f


  • csmmoms2
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    Great title...theme. Now I'm all tied up in a future shredding machine, don't even have a clue where you'll take me next.
    -c


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      April 26
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Chuck, sorry about the shreds ... where do you want to go next?

      Sue x


  • arafura gold member
    April 23
    Edit | Reply
    Very strong. This is excellent!


  • Patpowers silver member
    April 23
    Edit | Reply
    GREAT work again Sue! LIked the visual expression in this. THANKS!


  • cricketjeff gold member
    April 23

    Edit | Reply
    Angry, disillusioned, lost all seem possible readings here. It seems hauntingly simple and yet it tells many tales.

    Great stuff.


    Jeff

1 - 16 of 16