The sea is calm, the sky is red -
It's just too bad the captain's dead.
The crew had had enough of him,
And he had never learned to swim.
So I, the cabin boy, am here.
I haven't shed a single tear,
For now I am at last alone -
I will not make it on my own.
I stand here on the silent ship,
My dagger held tight in my grip,
At impasse with the silent mate
Who has so swiftly changed my fate.
The others stand strong at his back -
Can I hold out if they attack?
The only good man on this boat
Found out today he could not float
The sea is calm, the day is red -
It's just too bad the captain's dead.
My only friend has gone away,
And now I realize with dismay
It's time to follow him, I think
To Davy Jones down in the drink.
Who will survive this mutiny?
Will it be them? It won't be me.
Author notes
Written March 7th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Contest for new March members ~Come Sail Away~ by Barbara.
300 points, ended April 3, 2004, 49 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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A bit of an epic here. The cabin boy and against a sea of adversity. Knife in hand. Waiting for death. Very strong imagery. What happens next?
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I can see you crafted this carefully and with detail. I love the use of rhyme, very well done. deffinately desearving of a trophy!
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congratulations on silver...this remained one of my favourites throughout the contest..well done!..hugs..leanne xx
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Great job on this. The rhyming is great and I love the story. Congratulations on the silver trophy. Welcome to AP
take care
~whisper -
Great
I enjoyed this poem, the irony is delicious. Congratulations on your award. -
i really enjoyed this wonderful, little tale, beautifully written, well done
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Well done
This is terrific. What imagination you've shown. Well worded, well rhymed, and well done. Good luck. This looks like a winner to me. ML -
Ah, i love it! Poems that have a good, solid story line always appeal to me. Great write!
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I thought this was a great poem and refreshingly original. I agree with NurseHayley, I was expecting an ironic twist at the end, like the boy was the one who killed the Captain so he could be in charge. Still unique!
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This is what I would call a very mixed poem. The flow starts humourous, the second stanza is very ominous and dark and the third stanza has a mixture of both. Perhaps a tiny bit confusing as it isn't clear to me how to take this piece. A great idea though and good luck in the contest!
Take care
Hayley x x -
Definitely a different but interesting take on the contest idea. The rhymes and meter are both well done and I enjoyed reading.
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Hmmmmmmmmmm...I could see this as a movie passage for its theme. A good balance of clever humor and drama
Very good!! Thank you for a cinema take on this contest
Welcome to our site. Warmly, CookieZeal
iiii -
Very good and jeez put the knife down!!! Good work all been said before!
Good Luck!
Lakota x -
i loved this!!...very original and entertaining...nice flow and rhythm and the rhyming scheme worked well...very good!!....good luck and welcome to allpoetry!!...hugs...leanne xxx
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Yes, a very enjoyable read, well penned, serious with just the right touch of humour
Good luck in the contest and welcome to allpoetry
Dee -
A sea Captain who couldn't swim. this is a rollicking adventure Jim Lad!!! Love this swashbuckling story, hint of Errol Flynn and eye patches
thanks for the entry and Welcome to allpoetry
~Von~ -
Well done! A good tale here of mutiny and "damn, am I in trouble!" from the cabin boy. Great flow and rhyming, which made this a treat to read.
"Found out today he could not float" okay...although morbid, I laughed at that line...it just struck me as funny.
Thank you for entering this
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worthy of at least 3 grumblecakes
my dear...i am pleased to say that your rhythm in this poem is top notch. i think the story that you perceive from that picture is original, witty, and...anti-inspiring? i mean that in a good way...really. like anti-hero. the cabin boy kind of is. you know what i mean. its like he is strong in his convictions but...he kills himself. or at least, jumps on to a convenient whale that takes him home where he can take a shower and have a ham sandwich. either way i would say that it is fairly anti-hero of him. or self-heroisism. either way, it makes for a good philosophical conversation. and we looove philosophy.
all my love.
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