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To -----

How can anyone describe what I once felt,
--so seemingly long ago.
I don,t know how to describe or interpret such things.
For I have no physical or material way of touching them.
But through some inner thought
I'm obliged a glimpse.

Who were the two people?
One so beautiful in every respect of the words meaning.
How I long to go back in time and change or better yet.
Rehearse each seen that occurred between the two of us
and allow each to become it's own solemn reality.
Based on truth without the influences of the world we live in .

How beautiful it would have been without that world.
I truly and how whole heartily adore you.
During the very (to short to even recall to most) brief period we were apart of each-others lives.

I begged to my maker
the land I breath on
the land below
and to any kind
sympathetic
or other wise,
spirit or power

to take my whole being
and allow it to become one with yours .
I still long for this pitiful attempt to feel you forever .
May you alway's be who you are in every and all respects.
I'm sorry of this love .

But I walk in it's path every day hoping to cross yours .
Ill never stop!

Author notes

Not a poem so I understand why you would throw it out. It's just a letter. P. S. Sorry no idea how to do stanzas.

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 55 of 55

  • MoonlitRoses
    September 23

    Edit | Reply
    {wow that's a long contest entry list!}
    And no, the format is fine. I know it's not a letter, but it is a good piece so no need to worry about getting dq'd.
    Wonderful write! I thank you for entering and good luck.


  • GinryuStargazer
    September 5

    Edit | Reply

    It'snot the letter formatting I mind

    In fact, I love it, but have you SEEN the size of your contest entry list?!?!


  • puravida
    September 3

    Edit | Reply

    that is wonderful

    I truly adore this poem alot. thanks for sharing it. this poem cany anymore hopeful find who they are looking for.


  • Little Lesley
    August 28
    Edit | Reply
    Nice. It's cool. Amazing and magnificent!
    Good luck!
    ♥~Little Lesley~♥


  • XxNinjaNemoxX
    August 18
    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is entered in a lot of contests.
    I remember this from a previous contest
    I like it
    Thanks for entering and best of luck
    xoxo.


  • 2lullabyhaven
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    A forever feel to this piece, I felt, one should never stop longing for what one would like to enjoy...thanks for your entry


  • prankstar
    August 13

    Edit | Reply
    hmmm this is actualy alright. The way it's written is a little odd but i think it fits the piece. I remember it from my previous contest. Thank you for entering. Best of luck.


  • infinite spirit
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    It's good, it's heartfelt, and I have been there.
    There are a few spelling issues that make it seem a bit too rushed, I think if you corrected them you'd have something really great here.


  • Budart
    August 9

    Edit | Reply
    In the rules of this contest I asked for your favorite poet and poem. Wassup! too busy spaming this piece around to read rules?


  • xxuglyducklingxx
    August 9

    Edit | Reply

    Phenomenal.

    This was a phenomenal write! I loved it. IT was so beautifully laced together. I was impressed. Keep up the incredible work


  • orangepeeling
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    aw , this was a great write.
    somemany contests though , but that's ok .
    very emotional, & full of love
    thanks for shareing & best of luck to you
    - L ani

  • XxNinjaNemoxX
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    This was in my last contest, wasn't it?
    It's a letter, but what prompt did you use?
    Cause if it fits really well into the prompt, I don't think I'll remove it
    xoxo.


  • SkitzoSkittlez
    July 23
    Edit | Reply
    awesome!!
    good luck >_<


  • Mango Memories gold member
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    well what a very emotional and special write. I enjoyed reading this very much so!

    Well done on a great write, and thankyou so very very much for sharing, cupcake


  • XxNinjaNemoxX
    July 19
    Edit | Reply
    Yeah, I'm sorry, but it's a letter, so I have to remove it from my contest.
    I apologise.

  • friend
    July 18
    Edit | Reply
    i absolutely love this


  • Let.Me.Be.Dreaming
    July 14

    Edit | Reply
    "Rehearse each seen that occurred between the two of us
    and allow each to become it's own solemn reality."
    My favorite part. I can remember times when I'd go back and see all those memories and even ones I didn't know that were memories. Lovely.
    Good luck in my contest.

  • bookworm987
    July 13

    Edit | Reply
    "I begged to my maker
    the land I breath on
    the land below
    and to any kind
    sympathetic
    or other wise,
    spirit or power"

    I like the desperation and emotion. Thanks for entering.

    [Liz<3]

  • graydeth
    July 11
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice write. Good luck in the contest.


  • cookie-monster
    July 10
    Edit | Reply
    that's a lot of contests....

  • prankstar
    July 9
    Edit | Reply
    This is si beautiful! i loved the detail and time you obviously put into it. I loved it ^^. Thank you for entering ^^

    ---prankstar


  • DancingRed
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    I understand it's personal, but I think a different title could be more effective. Maybe shorter line lengths could work better. I like fourth stanza best - both layout and imagery is well done. A stray apostrophe seems to have popped up in your piece - should be 'always'. You'll want an apostrophe in 'I'll' in the last line though, because how you've got it now it seems like 'ill', meaning sick/unwell. We don't want to confuse or distract the reader!
    Thanks for entering.
    DancingRed.


  • Livingemptyspaces
    July 6
    Edit | Reply
    How I long to go back in time and change or better yet.
    Rehearse each seen that occurred between the two of us

    Needs to be grammar fixed.

    (to short to even recall to most)
    *too

    It is poetical. though I wouldn't call it Dirty Pretty.

    Anyway Good job, and good luck in the contest


  • black-phenoqu
    July 6
    Edit | Reply

    there is a lot of desperateness in this.

    like your very life is depended on it. in the 3rd line "don,t", should be "don't".


  • xxuglyducklingxx
    July 4
    Edit | Reply

    Hmm.......

    Well, I disagree with you. I consider this to be a poem. A very emotional and nicely written poem. Good job.


  • cazzy71
    July 2

    Edit | Reply

    Ticks all the boxes

    This fits the prompt,tells a story and is an interesting,engaging read.Thank you for your interest in my contest.


  • Janetheplain
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    I really like the last sentence, it pulls it all together. There are a couple spelling mistakes but overall, really good. Good luck Jane


  • Antebellum
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    I love the structure you have going here, but its diffacult for me to tell its a letter, actually without reading your a.n I wouldnt have known.....maybe add a "dear,---" or "To---" to the top of the poem/letter itself.

    thanks for entering.
    good luck


  • Kira65
    June 27

    Edit | Reply
    it is very good! it shows the emotion very well! and i like the strong ending! Thank you for entering and good luck.


  • his kiss
    June 27
    Edit | Reply
    wow


  • sexy emo fairy
    June 25
    Edit | Reply
    i liked it. it didn't make me cry but I enjoyed it. I also liked how you did this.


  • Sempre da soli
    June 21

    Edit | Reply

    ...

    i really enjoyed this~u have very unique stucture and format~ and this really has meaning to u and i can see that other ppl could also relate to this


  • Fallen-Muse
    June 18

    Edit | Reply

    Liked it

    Hmmm. I liked this. Not really much else to say at the moment but good luck and thanks for entering.


  • Queen of Shadows
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    i would like your username so i know who s work i am reading but i can feel this like i want to print it out and give it to my ex very nice


  • The cliche typo
    June 14
    Edit | Reply

    oh i need your username too

  • The cliche typo
    June 14

    Edit | Reply

    marvelous

    i would remind you of the options rule- but since its ovios wich option this is...

    this is a amazing poem- it definatly makes the finalist list

    a extra note for my contest- i refuse to enter a poem on the finalist list that i dont know wich option it is... thanx and good luck!


  • nobodys-girl
    June 7

    Edit | Reply
    I like this! It shows how much love a man could have (at least thats how im choosing to take it which is exactly what i want....). thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!


  • xochocoholicxo
    June 4
    Edit | Reply
    its fine i won't dq it ")
    good luck thanx for entering


  • endless-lover silver member
    June 4
    Edit | Reply
    i adored this bunches!!!!
    and it is so a finalist thanks for entering hun :]

    vanna

  • tigress3737
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    the last part of this poem really gripped me more than the beginning. i enjoyed the conviction in the last lines and the power of the emotions that you wrote about. thank you for entering this piece

  • xVamPirexMusiCx
    May 29
    Edit | Reply
    hey everyone! I'm sorry, buti have to close this contest! I feel really bad! BUT I JUST RAN OUT OF TIME! If you are in this contest message me and i'll give you 5 points for entering! I'M SOO SORRY! Please understand!


  • poetry is soul
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    hey, free verse is amazing... and when you free verse, you can stanza however you want. so... i really like this, because one, i can really relate. unrequited love kinda sucks, you know? but when there is just an inkling of some love in return, you dont want to give up, and you want more. i do what you do... walk the paths until it intersects the other persons whom you love so dearly. good poem, i really liked it.


  • ChunkyC
    May 25

    Edit | Reply
    This is really pretty, in it's own way. I won't lie, I really do like it. It's unique, and I love a lot of the words you used.

    I begged to my maker
    the land I breath on
    the land below
    and to any kind
    sympathetic
    or other wise,
    spirit or power

    I'm not a religious person at all, but sometimes when times get so hard for me. I do pray. This is beautifully written and I like this stanza. Good job.

    Good luck in the contest :]


  • trekkergirl
    May 17

    Edit | Reply
    well a stanza is just like a paragraph so you did fine in that. And as a letter this is written decently though you do have some grammar errors. Just not real sure if you have the emotion of grief in this. Thanks though for entering this into my contest and thanks for sharing this with us. Good write.


  • Night Terrors
    May 17
    Edit | Reply
    A fasinating style you mixed it up with this one a really great poem. I loved it lots of emotion


  • Reaper-117
    May 8

    Edit | Reply
    "don,t" ought to have a ' not a ,
    "seen " ought to be scene
    An enjoyable read, thanks for entering.


  • spiritraven
    May 6

    Edit | Reply

    Thank you again

    for entering my contest. I really did love this and I appreciate you sharing it with me. Good luck in your next contest


  • spiritraven
    May 5
    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully written

    Poetry comes in many forms. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck


  • Sgt. Pepper
    May 5
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for your entry
    i can feel your emotion and passion, it is what i asked for,
    alex


  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    May 2

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your heartfelt entry, good luck in my contest, Josie


  • Tqop
    April 28
    Edit | Reply
    Very touching, and very heartfelt. Thanks for sharing.


  • lockdoubt
    April 27

    Edit | Reply
    i enjoyed the image of the poem. some things to work on are spelling and grammar. also, it seems you need to further iron out your style, but that only takes time. keep writing.

    thanks for the entry; you've definitely got potential.

  • Judith Chandler
    April 27

    Edit | Reply
    No, I think this is okay, even if it's addressed to someone. I think people often do address diary entries to someone else. I take it this is something you would never actually sent to the love object?

    The spelling is dubious at times but I've just decided to be lenient. A lot of people would not worry about correcting spelling if they were making a private diary entry.

    It seems melodramatic but again diary entries often do seem that way to an outside reader.

    I enjoyed this immensely.


  • Emmabug
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    I'm not sure what to think LOL!

    It was beautiful and graceful and flowed perfectly! Keep it up!

    By The Way: To make stanza's simply press the enter button and make a new line where you either change subjects or there is a pause. Try looking at my poems for a example

1 - 55 of 55