I walk through this cage of lions
each one biting me, tearing at me...
I see each lion and for each bite lost of me
a peice of them i fix...
they bite more..and more each day,
more each passing moment...
I look down at my body...
and most of me is gone...
then I see the door to this cage,
outside, a place away from the lions...
suddenly all of the lions stop and stare,
they watch, they glare...
I glance back and forth between my body,the lions,
and the door...
then I turn around...
and walk back through the crowd of lions...
Author notes
ive thought this for a long time, ive just never written it down, hopefully you like it, and hopefully you can answer my question...
A contest entry
- Animal Poems by FloridaGatorQueen.
525 points, ended May 14, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Is this the way life should be...?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is a really cool poem. Sounds to me like you have a fear of being eaten by lions. Or your in a form of depression. These are just guesses. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest
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line 5-6 u see freedum away from the people tearing u apart inside butthose people are your friends and thay dont want u to go with out him becuse thay want to be happy 2 line 7-8 you want to be free and you dont thank u can take more of this but u rether be geting hert and helping friends thin being free alone with no one thier beside u
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line1 is saying that your stuckin a world of people that are over welming u for help.
line2 but ech one you help u end up geting hert in the prosses
line 3 every day every secend threre is some one else needing your help but helping hert u more and more
line4 you have helped so many people that youur falling apart
lines5-6 you see a world out side of the people that keep herting u and need help and the people see it to and dont want u to go becuse thay want to go to but cant becuse every thang thay need help with are holding thim back
lines7-8 you want to be free and dont know how much of this u can take and you fill like you need to help thim even if thay are going to kill u in the prosses so u walk back to the people that need your help becuse you fill that u rether be here helping your friends and every one els thin being free with no friends or people to talk to -
Great
This is a really interesting write, full of powerful emotions. So many times it feels like life and everything in gnaws away at you until there's no part of you left to give. And still it feels impossible to find any way out, so you return to the painful grind. Because really how can you get out and what's on the other side of the door? Sometimes what's on the other side sucks even more. A powerful write really! Great job!
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Its good but you have way better work up, I know u have more potential than most. Remember to take your time and choose the right words to express ur emotions. Yeah you need good friends like me. LOL. I can definately make u feel better about ur life.
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I wouldn't really say it's depressing, I'd it's more expressing the other side of life that many people see but refuse to share or acknowledge. Although you see that you can leave the "through the door" a part of you realizes that you depend on people depending on you. -Huggles- Life isn't so bad, you just need good friends.
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I like this. I get what you're saying. You wanna leave and go to the better outside world, but you're so used to what pain and torture you've always known. Great job. Only criticism I have for you is "EDIT" your poem and change "fourth" to forth. Also capitilize the "i"'s. Other than that, it's a great write!
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