i can feel you down there
going in and out
getting faster and faser until i moan
you stop but i can still feel you
thrusting in farther then i thought you could
my cum going all over the covers of the bed
i can feel you getting even harder as things go on
this is something i have never felt before
i cant help but scream as the pleasure gets intolerable
the things you do to me make me wet
my heartbeat gets faster and faster
suddenly you explode and things get messy
this night is go on forever
its about two in the morning
we're finally done
this sleepless night was more then worth it
A contest entry
- SEXUAL HEALING ^_^ by gigglesalot.
700 points, ended May 2, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
this was a really gos poem
-
* smile* lots happen between two in love.
-
this was really great... there was alot of imagery in it
great job
-
Umm, for a great poem, you are to show not tell... here you are telling. We all know how sex works, the man gets hard and then it gets messy... the woman moans, blah, blah... this is a good way to tell someone who has never heard of sex how it's done but not a good poem. also actually using the word "cum" makes it TMI. Imagery could say the same thing in a nicer way.
-
its a little middle/high school for me. Im looking for stuff that had more imagery to it. thanks for entering though. good luck and happy writting!
-
how do i edit it?
-
very passionate
i love the passion you express here, its a nice write, and..definately kinky, "this night is go on forever" might wanna change to "this night will go on forever" or "this night could go on forever" but i love the expression through the entire poem, the passion almost reaches out and grabs you and pulls you in, make more id love to see it
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
