Perfection I show you, I need, I crave,
Destruction turns a screw inside,
Fraud, Cheat, Lies, Deceit
Salvation deliver me accepting peace.
Help me, save me, love me,
I hate me.
The fat funny one, sharp, the wit,
I know you; life and soul,
Loose elastic; loose morals; loose woman
Ugly man lies behind these eyes.
Help me, save me, love me,
I hate me.
As I crawl on these broken bones,
I pierce the storm to drag you closer,
Please hear my silence!
Please see my blank-faced plea!
Help me, save me, love me.
I hate me.
What did you think
Comments
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
This is a really good poem - I like the expression in this poem, and I hope that poetry gives you a release for this emotion
I think from a constructive criticism point you might like to look at perhaps not capitalising the first letter of every line, when it isn't the start of a new sentence it can disrupt the flow a little - but that is just my opinion and I enjoyed this poem!
Welcome to the site, I hope that you enjoy your time here at AllPoetry!
Polly
Site Greeter -
Welcome to ALLPOETRY!
OOOOOOOH WOW!
well crafted internal rhyme and repitition of emotion.
Your metter and imagery was spot on and I simply loved this.
I will definately be adding you to my favorite's list becasue i want to read more of your work in the near future.
well done and keep penning.
Max
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