Decisions

It was bitterly cold and the sky overcast and grey.
In the distance I can see lighting strikes
and hear thunder as a storm approaches quickly.

The musky smell of rain is in the air.
Suddenly a drop of rain falls landing on my head.
Another and then another til finally
it is raining at a steady pace.

Quickly I pull my felt cap down around my miserably cold ears.
I cross my arms against my chest in a vain attempt at staying warm.
Still, it does not take long til I am shivering.

Nonetheless I will not leave
for I am determined to see you depart.

It is your choice
It has always been your choice.
Stay or go.

I need you to understand that
I will not force you into something
that you do not want
or need.

Suddenly you pause in your heart-wrenching damnable slow paced walk
to look back at me with those wonderfully expressive dark eyes of yours.

You look torn. So like a being pulled in two directions at once.
Indecision usually a rare trait for one such as you.

You softly sigh
and I hear the pain you are feeling
deep down within my heart.

Hope eternal briefly stirs within my wildly beating heart
only to be shattered as you once again turn your back on me
and begin that damnable slow walk away from me.

Truly I do not understand this decision you have made.
So I stand watching
as you slowing turn away from me.

Yearning to reach out to you. To touch you.
Trying desperately to understand this terrible decision you have made.
Struggling deep inside myself to accept that which I feel I cannot change.
Wondering silently what is it that has led us to this place.
Praying
with everything that I am
that we do not end here.