Her lips against mine,
Our bodies joining as one,
Kissing in passion.
Author notes
Kissing with passion.
Written November 26th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- This Love by InTheSilence.
500 points, ended June 24, 2004, 76 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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giggles at Artis... personally, I like this! I thought it well done. ~~~ Val
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I don't know about that...kisses can sometimes be mines that explode the passion through ones whole body and pieces of clothing fly off and there's a lot of swelling and stopping things up and then everybody feels much better after the blast they had....lol...Artis
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it almost sounds as if it is kissing in passing, which is like love passing through the first step and onto the next, a very nice haikiss,,,ooops I mean Haiku...lol....Artis
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This is to Nam, your right about the fact that mines should be mine but the second line is deffintly 5-7-5 our-bod-ies-join-ing-as-one it's 7 this is a great piece!
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In your first line 'mines' should be 'mine'
In your second line if you are going for 5-7-5 you have 5-6-5 'Our' is 1 syllable not two.
Other than that, a lovely piece.
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