Every time I turn I hear them calling
those voices in my head.
They whisper advice to me
telling me
to end this between us.
To respect myself more.
To realize that he is just trying
to take advantage of me.
I know that his promises are false
that everything he tells me is a lie.
Over and over I keep telling myself
these things.
And yet,
when we touch
all thought leaves me
and I melt into his arms.
Together
we spend a night
of reckless passion
making promises
talking of a future
dreaming of a life spent together.
Then when the day dawns
and I awaken
you are not there
and no matter where I search
you cannot be found
and now all I have
are your
empty promises.
In a list
A contest entry
- Help me reach my 2000 comment By entering your poetry by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended May 11, 251 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Writes Galore by tears.of.silence.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Freeverse Galore by OurxBeginning.
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
A lot of emotions in this. It leaves ones' soul feeling empty, just by reading your words. I agree, I would probably hunt them down as well, lol. It's amazing how many people break promises these days. Saddens me.
"Over and over I keep telling myself
these things.
And yet,
when we touch
all thought leaves me
and I melt into his arms."
To me, it's like you're not wanting to give in, yet it happens because of one moment. Very deep indeed.
Over-all, nice piece. Thanks for entering and good luck.
-
yes that would definatly suck big time! I must say I would probably hunt the guy down and beat him up lol. Um Well actually......
The Positives:
great poem lots of emotion and some clever twisting in your lines I really liked that
Room For Improvement:
Nothing I can see you did wonderful
My Favorite Part:
I know that his promises are false
that everything he tells me is a lie.
Over and over I keep telling myself
these things.
And yet,
when we touch
all thought leaves me
and I melt into his arms.
Great job this part really stood out
Overall:
I give this an 8/10 you did great. Thanks so much for entering I hope to see you in my future contests.
~*~Apathetic Poison~*~
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