Remember to live

Deep into that darkness peering,
Long i stood there wondering,
fearing ... doubting.
Poe's words lingered in my mind
peering out that cracked window
into an unknown tomorrow
what path lays before me
where am i supposed to go now
the blood drips from the knife
the drugs have dried in the needle
pissed away the alcohol
the darkness, something there
calling, squawking
i squint trying to focus
deeper into that darkness peering
nothing moves in the darkness
but the memories of the past
none more than the loss
why did she have to die
what kind of a world do we live in
where something so beautiful
taken away within a manner of months
the disease slowly taking her away
Until that last day when she looked at me
tears streaked across her face
she smiled, a painful smile
"No more will you have to watch me die"
she said as best she could
better than she had in a long time
as one last gift from a dying woman
"I love you... Remember to Live"
She said as she closed her eyes
My heart sank as there she died
though years had passed
i could still feel her hand in mine
as her body went cold
I clenched my hand tight
i rose barely able to stand with my legs
the drugs, the blood loss, the alcohol finally having their way
i stumble to the floor
along came a rapping, like someone tapping,
tapping on that cabin door.
The echo of the sound through the floor
mixed with the drugs pounding in my head
i scream out, holding my ears
"make it stop i scream"
I look at my watch
Saturday 3:36a
I pass out

A voice through the darkness of my mind
"Do you remember me?"
A strange familiar sound to it
"What have you done with your life?"
the sound, playing with memories
"I told you to remember to live, and you got lost!"
The somber melody playing with the heart
"What have you become?"
Flashes begin to burst in my mind
showing me the sins i have done
"Your better than this"
My mind races, flourishes
A marvelous fantasy races through
"It can be yours"
All of chasing dreams long forgotten
of ink and words scattered upon a page
along came a rapping, like someone tapping
tapping on a hard wooden door

"Remember to live"
My eyes open,
blinded by the morning light
through the cracked window
where I had stared, peered into that darkness
I pull my arm painfully to see the time
Thursday, 11:20a
What had happed
i sat reflecting on life
"Remember to live"
Those words echoed in my mind.
The day turns to night
my mind races with everything
scars tended to,
drugs and alcohol dumped down toilet
it seemed fitting
flushed out of reach and out of life
I grabbed one of my journals
it's leather bound cover reflecting age
i grab my old ink pen
looking out that cracked window
The light of the sun long gone
Deep into that darkness peering
Long I sat there wondering,
hoping, dreaming
"Remember to live"
Those words echoing in my mind
"I think I  will"
dreams made reality,
life made whole
through something so simple
as words on a page.