It has been a while
Since my skin felt this touch
Soft skin coming from a corrupted hand
But from such solitude
I can only accept it
I love the way such bodies stand on me
Birds that were supposed to run away
From my ugly face
Is my skin as corrupted as their souls?
Forever, forever
I'll have to endure them, and their sons
And the sons of their sons
Do my arms look that welcoming?
I'm actually having fun
But their warmness, their bodies
Will start to pierce me and my ideals
Will my remains rot and become one of them?
Until that moment, I'll have to watch
Endless sunrises and sunsets
While I expel love from here
Love that was supposed to disgust them
From this dirty shell
Author notes
Inspired by the song "Soushitsu" by Kagerou.
A contest entry
- Song inspired ♥ You're choice :] by Ami.
550 points, ended April 22, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest Best Prewrites From April 2009 by amaranthine lover.
1125 points, ended May 29, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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19.8/25
I really liked where you went with this piece. However, I feel that you could benefit using more punctuation. I had a hard time knowing where a line ended and where one began because it either stopped or continued. Just going back and making those changes would greatly help this piece. Remember, these are just mere suggestions and not meant to take offense.
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wow this poem was amazing i love it
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Nice Idea!
But, I dont know why; it doesent feel right. You cant read it aloud and find rythm in it! It seems a little dry. But the idea is nice!
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