All I see is what I'm lacking...
How much better it could have been if she would have come even just a year later.
Not for my sake, for hers.
I love her unconditionally, indefinately.
I held her in my body. I felt her every movement before she even existed.
She dwelled within my heart before she was even a twinkle in her father's eyes.
It's not that I don't love her, enjoy her, cherish her every breath
But she deserves better than what we can give her.
She loves me. I see it in her tears, every morning when I leave her
...to go build us a future.
Someday she will have all her heart desires.
Sometimes it's not satisfying enough for your child not to need anything,
But for them not to ever want for anything is fulfillment I have only dreamt of.
Someday I will look back at (our) childhoods, and remember all she taught me, and be glad of what I've given her in return.
Until then, all I can do is watch her as she sleeps and pray she gets her Daddy's sense of adventure... or lack there of...
For His Sake.
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