I slip into another frown
whilst juggling laughter's shapes,
orange and dark green,
they fall to the floor.
I’ll be darned if they resurrect,
fragments of some broken grins
shrug the shoulder chip
blowing back through the door.
And another section
of reality scurries away -
I laugh as time slams curtains;
flowered moments,
it's all in the air of love.
Author notes
This was first composed by a colleague, Individuality .who prompted me to sandwich in a stanza. Hope I've done his verse well.
Comments
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I love the way you have used wordplay in this-really clever. I love this: "fragments of some broken grins". Great write
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hummm...this struck me as a very light poem but yet with so much feeling! you express yourself very well. i love the way you discribe things. very nice!
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great
Nice and I love this tender smell of love in the air
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no, it is not a test - i was just throwing in some things that affect me
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at last!
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Oooohhh! Now, now, what have we here? A wonderful collaboration by two poets I hold dear! Nice one folks, lovely effects, gave me the feeling of the mood going up and down some... Bravo, more! More! MORE! Kindest thoughts, Anna-Marie.
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hehehe yes i was waiting to see yoiur name
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Hey, Anna..thank you so much for a unique response (as always!)
We thank you, but I feel Ian wears the pants in this one..lol.
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oops...apologies..system says i don't have enough points to applaud but it's worthy of points, oh i am a pauper!
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Ah, I could have sensed Ian's influence even if it hadn't been acknowledged, perhaps they is superfluos in the first stanza, maybe it could be compounded instead by another action/description, maybe not, I ramble too much, you may have noticed. Maybe pluralalize shoulder in the second shoulder oops second stanza? I enjoyed this dance of words, it's moody without being menacing, it pas de deux's with melancholia but breathes its last breath in a com se com sa fashioned farewell.
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i am just enjoying- the unknown soldier - kate bush and roy harper
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Hello!
We thank you for your comment and high energy response
Suggestion appreciated and considered. Due to earlier verses, I see that plurals
can 'bite' if too many, hence the singular tone.
Wonderful and conceptual.
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Yes- 'it's all in the air of love.'
And freedom need not be empty but ever changing.
Great collab. I wouldn't have known if not told.
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We thank you so much
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The title fits this perfectly. " I slip into another frown..' Moods can be so random and change so quickly. In the blink of an eye, you're smiling again.
Love,
Stacy
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i like the second verse - not too sure on the first and third though.
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i agree with the previous comments
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. LOL
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Dreams
Ripples of insight rupture imagery
as visions collect sparkles of mystery;
dreams curling along the cheek's tremble,
silence bursts into black and white
while volume sneaks in colour from the side
to uplift the wings of the pillow's breath.
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In fact - we concur.
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lol..Thank you!
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You are welcome.
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I concur too...
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I concur too
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Thank you!
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Lovely poem, I Love the idea of reality scurrying away
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i think that this poem reads really well, but of course i have a biased opinion in this matter as it is our poem.
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I must agree with you. Oh, but then, I, too am biased.
I'm glad we did this. I think we 'get' each other's ideas,
n'est-ce pas?
Thank you again!!!
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I should try this!
You have the makings of a great write here. Frans
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