I stay

Once upon a time there was me.

I lived once with dreams and hopes and fears.

Somewhere along the road I must have missed my exit.

I am sure that I am not supposed to still be here.

I am sure that my turn was over years ago.

I see no exit, no off button, so I continue.

Only now I have no desire.

I have no need, no love.               

I am just here, waiting.

When do I get to leave?

Ready, set, stop...

I want to play another game.

This one is not fun any longer.

I did not understand the rules for this game when I started.

Now that I understand the idea, and how to win, I want to begin again.

Fresh at the start line with a new piece.

Next time I will contemplate my moves better.

Next time I will not be in such a rush.

Next time I will not give up half way through the game.

When do I get another turn?

Is this life a story or a game?

I would take either over reality.

It was not supposed to be this way.

Too many people mislead me when I did not know any better.

I am too far into this path to turn around.

But I am nowhere near the finish line.

I just stand still, so I cannot regret my last steps.

I cannot make a bad move if I do not move?

Where is the majic eraser?

Where is the clean slate I imagined?

I am over this life, but that is not one of my options.

So I stay.