Does she remember tender days
When we whispered
Over scrambled pancakes, her specialty
And half-flat sodas?
Does she remember promises
Like "friends forever"
Made with pinkies crossed
And eyes squeezed closed?
Does she remember little digs
"Everyone's invited...
Except you, of course"
As if that was a given?
Does she remember when we broke
When she told me,
"I never really liked you
But you just wouldn't leave me be"?
"Hey, hon, want some pancakes?"
Asks Mom when I walk in
I inhale them, tasting only bitter taunts
Then run to the bathroom
Water flowing on hot, doors locked
"Friends forever," I whisper
And I picture Haley's face, so cold,
As I slip fingers down my throat
Author notes
Here's the prompt:
-the things that trigger you (people, places, memories, songs, smells)
My old best friend hasn't always been my trigger. But I realize now that when I think about the root causes for my bulimia, I see her face. It wasn't her, of course, not her alone; it took many to convince me that I was worthless. But she's what I think of as the spokeswoman, the representative for Self Esteem Crushers Inc. Not just, but certainly partially her fault that I'm struggling to get over bulimia.
Bitch.
In a list
A contest entry
- Eating Disorders - wherever you stand. by April Somerston.
575 points, ended May 4, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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wow. this is a sad piece. You did very good writing it. i'm so sorry for the things that have happened. Congrats on your gold trophy. keep up your amazing work.
CrimsonViper -
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Thank you so much
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I LOVE this poem. It is amazing and I relate to it completely. I wish you the best of luck in the contest cause you really deserve a medal for this peice!!!
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Thank you so much
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Wow. I have to say, even suffering with an ED myself and reading lots of poems about it, it does take a lot to really touch me and evoke genuine empathy, and this one did. You said a lot and portrayed a lot with just a few words, and that's one of the things I look for in poetry. I am sorry that you had to go through this...but you do have a great writing talent. Here are a few suggestions...
1. Stanzas 3 and 4 need (deserve) to have a little more bite to them. Think of the nastiest things Haley said and did, her direct and passive-aggressive things, and then pick the worst of the worst and put them in quotes. You don't need a lot of detail; it sounds like she's not the kind of person who needs elaborate words either.
2. Why pancakes? How do they taste while you're gorging yourself? Or can you taste them at all? Does Haley's face even come to mind until the purging happens?
If and when you revise this, please let me know. Thanks a lot for entering. -
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Thanks for the constructive crit. I really think it helped to make my piece a lot better.
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